Porn addictions and how not to help

Don’t get me wrong, I am completely opposed to porn. However, I articles like “SEX BEFORE KISSING: HOW 15-YEAR-OLD GIRLS ARE DEALING WITH PORN-ADDICTED BOYS” don’t do very well at stopping the problem. There are two main problems with this article: 1) It fails to mention that most of these girls are watching and enjoying porn themselves and blames men for girls making poor choices. 2) Instead of actually helping people overcome porn addictions, it just shames them and tells them that they are violent, self-centered monsters ruining women’s lives because they look at porn. Notice that a lot of these articles fail to mention how porn might ruin a man’s life? (I know that some do, and fightthenewdrug.org does highlight stories about men ruining their life.)

The article starts by stating statistics that teen boys are more responsible for rapes than other groups suggesting that it is because they look at porn. I don’t doubt the statistics, because teen boys have a combination of a lot of testosterone and a less than fully developed brain, so it is easy for porn to led to a small percentage of them into rape. However, most normal young men will not become rapists because they watch porn. And again I am against porn and agree that it does lead some people to commit crimes. I just believe that the small percentage of people who do become rapist, also have other issues that need to be addressed. For the average young man, watching porn will not lead to him becoming a rapist, especially if he is able to get the appropriate help he needs to overcome his addiction.

The article mentions that girls feel like they need to send nude photos of themselves to boys, and compete for their attention. It also mentions that girls feel like they need to have sex first before they can kiss. What isn’t mentioned is why these girls make these poor choices in the first place. The girls are making these choices because they want cheap sexual attention and validation of their worth.

When a girl complies with a request for a nude photo, she isn’t being forced to do it. She does it because she is flattered that a “hot guy” wanted to see her boobs. She feels validation that she is pretty, and then complies with the request hoping that it will bring more cheap sexual attention and possible up her status amongst her girl friends. When girls invite boys over to watch a movie, and then comply to having horrible sex first, they are choosing to be with that guy because he brings her cheap sexual attention. No one forced this girl to date this kind of guy.

What this article fails to mention is that there are plenty of good guys willing to develop a loving relationship with these girls without receiving nudes and sex first. It’s just that these guys don’t fulfill the girls “need” for cheap sexual attention and elevated status among her girl friends. Only the “hot guys” can do that. These girls choose guys that expect nudes and sex before a relationship begins, and they choose them because they are their best option for receiving cheap sexual attention.

Just imagine what would happen if all girls stopped sending nudes of themselves to these boys. Imagine what it would be like if the girls never sent nudes in the first place. The boys would not expect to get them. Boys expect it now because the girls keep giving it. They keep giving it because they watch porn too, and fantasize about being some guy’s dream girl.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying boys are not in the wrong. I am just saying that girls are just as much in the wrong for seeking cheap sexual attention as boys are for seeking cheap sexual gratification. We do girls a big disservice to not point out that they can choose a better way of getting their validation than by choosing to slut themselves. Both of these problems, boys seeking cheap sexual gratification and girls seeking cheap sexual attention, stem from the same problem.

Kids these days do not know how to deal with their emotions. If you watch a lot of parents with kids in the store, you will see their young kids playing with their parents phones. Before our great technological age, when kids were hurt, bored, lonely, sad, etc., they had to find a way to deal with it. That usually meant going to a parent to learn how to deal with these feelings. Now days, it means that kids will get a cheap shot of dopamine to numb their feelings from their parent’s phone. As they grow older, they get their own devices to drug themselves up with. It’s only a matter of time before they discover porn, which produces far more brain numbing chemicals than they have ever experienced before. Girls might not get as addicted to it as boys (although some do, and others get more addicted to erotic literature). Once they become teenagers, the best way boys know how to deal with their feelings is seeking out cheap sexual gratifications. Girls too figure out that cheap sexual attention goes a long way in numbing their feelings.

 

(This is just a draft that I am not finished with. I don’t have time to blog, but I had this written up and decided it was worth posting. Sorry if it contains gramatical errors and “logical fallacies”. I just have time to put my thoughts down and publish it in the hopes it can help people.)

Supporting the narrative through “Science”

So I came across this article that says, “Women thrive as the primary breadwinner, while men suffer, study says“. Well since a study says this we must believe it, right? I mean, really smart people did a study, so there, men are not cut out to be primary breadwinners.

The article goes on to describe this study:

To examine the effects of household income dynamics on health and well-being, researchers looked at data from heterosexual married people across the U.S. who were between the ages of 18 and 32. Their most significant finding was somewhat surprising, said lead author Christin Munsch, PhD, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Connecticut: As men took on more financial responsibility in their marriage, their psychological well-being and physical health both tended to decline.

Men were worse off during years when they were their family’s sole breadwinners—with psychological well-being scores 5 percent lower, and health scores 3.5 percent lower, on average, than in years when their partners contributed equally.

Well, researchers looked at some data and determined that men don’t do so well when they are the primary breadwinners.

The one big problem with this is that it is an observational study, and as any statistician should know, cannot actually prove anything. Since they just looked at data, there is only a correlation between being the primary breadwinner and having a psychological well-being score 5 percent lower. (What is a psychological well-being score? Sounds important; I better force my wife to work.)  To actually prove that being a male primary breadwinner causes psychological damage you would need to do a causation study.

What would a causation study look like? You would need to round up some volunteer families (at least 100 for good statistical significance) and then randomly choose some families to have the husbands to be the primary breadwinner, and other families to have a shared responsibility. (If you want to prove anything about the wives you would need to choose some to have the wives be the primary breadwinners.) You would then wait a few years, and revisit the families to do follow up psychological and health evaluations. If the primary-breadwinner husbands did have poorer psychological well-being scores, you can say it was the fact that they were forced to be the primary breadwinner.

However, rounding up families and telling them, who can work and who cannot, isn’t a very ethnical study, nor do I think it would even be possible. So, we are left with just an observational study. The only thing this study can say is that there is a correlation between husbands being the primary breadwinner and having a lower physiological and health score. It cannot prove that being the primary breadwinner causes the lower scores anymore than lower scores causes husbands to be the primary breadwinner. The observational study cannot rule out other compounding factors that might lead to the poorer scores.

But, why let a silly thing like statistics get in the way of proving the author’s conclusions. According to the article, the author concludes the following:

Our study contributes to a growing body of research that demonstrates the ways in which gendered expectations are harmful for men.

So, no where in the article does it provide any evidence that women thrive as the primary breadwinner, as the title states. The observational study only states that women who are the primary breadwinners don’t show a difference in their scores.

So, women should feel free to ditch their kids in daycare, it will do your husband good! Right?

So here are the problems:

First of all, what is a psychological well-being score? What questions were asked to come up with this well-being score? Are the questions biased in a way that could influence male, primary breadwinners to provide lower scores. Think about this question, “You feel satisfied with how much time you spend with your kids,” on a scale from 1 to 10. Just because you would like to spend more time with your kids could be interpreted as having poor psychological well-being.

But the main problem I see with this study, is that is only includes married people from ages 18-32. Guess when most college-educated, married people first have kids? 30. So, the people in this study primarily focuses on the following married people:

  1. People who married while in college or shortly after (small percentage of married people).
  2. People who do not have kids yet.
  3. People who never went to college and got married in their 20’s.

Whose’s missing? That’s right the majority of college-educated, married men and women currently raising kids. Most college-educated men and women don’t start having kids until their 30’s, and these people are absent from the study. I wonder why they stopped asking married people over 32? Could it be that if older people were included in the study that the author wouldn’t get the results she wanted?

But don’t let that get in the way of the author’s conclusion. Please, women go out and be a cubical slave for corporate America, while your kids rot in daycare (they are a lot easier to brainwash that way). Trust me, your psychologically damaged husband can’t handle the pressure of providing for your family, but you can (you go girl!). (Unless he got a good education and career, but never mind that.)

So here’s what is going on. A young girl goes through years of college brainwashing telling her that she is better than men (you go girl). She gets her PhD in sociology (focusing on gender studies) and realizes that not many people have a need for a gender-biased sociologist, so the only job she can get is one that teaches the same worthless stuff. However, in order to keep her job, she needs tenure. In order to get tenure, she needs to publish. She is in a publish or have a man support her die position, (as most young professors are).

She sets up a “research lab” where “The overarching goal of her research is to identify the ways in which contemporary, dual earner families organize interaction based on a traditional, breadwinner-homemaker model and the consequences of this mismatch for individuals, relationships, and the reproduction of inequality.” – ie. to prove that traditional marriage roles (outline the the Proclamation on the family) is damaging individuals, relationships, and family.

Well, she can’t publish an article that supports traditional families, that would go against her college supplied brainwashing that women are better than men. Plus, most people in her field will be offended by such a result, so she tweaks the data (or looks for data) that support her predestined conclusion. Never mind the fact that it is only observational, and no conclusion can be reached. Like minded gender study professors eat it up and publish it. She then finds another like minded journalist that pretty much allows her to make any claim she wants. They publish it in the main-stream media, so eyes everywhere will see another “Women are awesome, men suck” headline as the browse the new.

Goal achieved, another little article to keep the anti-masculine narrative seeping into our heads.

Why your daughter can’t get married

Before you go and blame all of those “man children” and “peter pan boys” for the lack of suitable mates for your daughter, you should really examine what it would mean to marry your precious little princess. I know that you might be upset that your daughter will not have the happiness you want her to have, or you have now realized that you will not have a righteous posterity you thought you would have. It is easy to direct that anger towards the rational thinking young men you have insultingly called peter pan boys, instead of getting to the painful truth on why your daughter is not seen as a good marriage prospect.

She has an elevated sense of her Marriage Market Value

She’s too picky. Your daughter isn’t married is because you have told her ever since she was a little girl, that she is too good for the guys out there. You encouraged her “girl power” attitude, and told her about all of those stupid “peter pan boys.” You placed her education, popularity,  and career above marriage and family.

Since media tells girls this constantly, all it takes for her to elevate herself above all of her marriage prospects is for you to stay silent. She goes to college, and ignores the boys who actually do like her enough to marry her. She has the hots for the one or two boys all of the other girls want, and ignores all of the other ones that might actually ask her out.

Now, no matter how attractive you daughter is, she feels entitled to only the best looking men. When she tells you she hasn’t been asked out in over a year, one of two things are probably happening. 1) She has been asked out, or has been receiving attention from perfectly good guys. However, these guys are not 2-3 hottest guys in her ward, and your daughter considers herself above them. Therefore, in her mind, do not count as a date. Or 2) your daughter feels like she is so above most of the guys around her, she “tells” all of them to not approach her, with her body language and attitude. (see below).

Remember that girls will only marry up. If they think they are all that (because I’m going to be super girl), then they will think they are too good for most guys.

She is out of shape

Don’t get me wrong, there are probably plenty of guys that will date bigger girls, but as described above, they are not good enough for her. If your daughter cannot find any guys worth dating (you know the ones with jobs and their head screwed on straight) she isn’t attractive to them. Why should these guys settle for a out-of-shape girl when there are plenty of in-shape girls knocking on their door.

I know this is a sensitive topic, and having daughters myself, know how hard this can be. As fathers, we need to counter balance the media that tells girls to be stick thin. Make sure that they know that guys like bodies of all kinds, as long as they eat right and exercise. That is the honest truth. Being around a lot of youth and seeing them interact in singles wards, I have never seen girls that eat right and exercise not have guys wanting to date them, even if they have a bigger build.

Essentially, if your daughter knows how to keep her self in shape and does it, then she will be attractive to quite a few men. There are plenty of men willing to date and marry girls that are out of shape, so there are a lot more that will want to marry your daughter that is actually in shape. If you want your daughter to marry a good man, one of the best things you can do for her, is teach her how to eat right and exercise. As long as she is a pleasant girl, there will be plenty of good boys wanting to date her. As long as she doesn’t think she is too good for them, she will have lots of dates.

She’s not pleasant to be around

If your daughter is materialistic, stubborn, moody, bossy, and walks around like she is the queen of the world, she sends a message to most guys to keep away. She was a mean, bratty teenager who often had you cowering in a corner. Now you expect some guy (with a job and his head screwed on straight) to deal with her, for the rest of eternity? How many guys do you think want to live with that? Especially since they have lots of pleasant girls around them.

All of the girl power movies (see Moana), telling girls to be bossy and defiant are not doing them any favors. Although guys might like a little attitude, what they really want is a fun person to be around.

They have seen plenty of shows, that show wives nagging their husbands, putting them down, and treating them like they are stupider than their kids. They don’t want to sign up for that. Not only do these shows scare guys away from marriage, they teach girls to disrespect guys.

Now your daughter thinks being bossy will earn her a knight in shinny armor. She walks around entitled, scaring every good prospect away. But hey, it’s okay, “a real man” will know how to handle me! No thanks.

She’s career driven

Although there might be some boys willing to sign up to be Mr. Mom, career driven girls are not helping their attractiveness. They are just making themselves too important and too busy to date. Usually marrying a career driven girl means you will need to work AND be Mr. Mom while your wife if off wasting her time  saving the world in a cubicle (probably while hanging out with other men more attractive and interesting than any Mr. Mom could be.)

She Has no Nurturing Skills

Like the rest of western society, you are offended that girls should be taught to care for and nurture children. You didn’t bother to teach your daughter how to cook. (Who has time for cooking when you have a career, sports, and other girl power pursuits to think about?) She doesn’t bring anything of value to the relationship, yet you expect young men to man up and marry her.

Movies and Shows tell boys to sit down and shut up

Now this might be the boys problem, but when was the last movies that had a male hero, that didn’t need the help of a female? I mean movies like Moana, but with a boy instead of a girl. If there is one, is there a girl in the movie there to set him straight?

What do you expect when we fill young kids minds with the narrative that girls are awesome and are just being held back by evil men (ie dad’s), and boys need a girl to help them achieve anything.

The only way feminism (and Satan) can elevate women above men is by telling boys to sit down and shut up. Almost every show kids watch send a message to boys to deferrer to girls.

Since, most kid’s parents are too busy slaving away in a cubicle to send any other message, can you blame boys from just wanting to play video games and not grow up. Who are they supposed to grow up to be? A cubicle slave? A husband who gets nagged by his wife all of the time? A father who gets pushed over by his kids? Seriously, who is supposed to be their role models that they actually want to be?

That being said, there are lots of guys out their with jobs and a future. They have just been brain washed to think that they should deferrer to girls all the time, and you taught your daughter she is too good for them.

Conclusion

Before you accuse all young men of being peter pan boys hooked on porn and video games, give a good look at your daughter and think, would she be a good wife for me? Look at the shows that boys are raised on and think, would I want to sign up to be a “stupid husband nagged by his wife”?

The fact of the matter is, most young men want to marry a good looking, feminine wife. They want to be good fathers. The only role models they see are the stupid husbands on TV, and most girls are too good for them. They just want a nice, loving pleasant girl. Since there aren’t a lot of girls that fit that bill, of course they would rather play video games.

Alpha Parenting Move: Getting your 4 year old dressed

You know the struggle you have in getting your 4-year-old dressed. Here is an easy way to have him dress himself (once he is capable).

  1. Find out his favorite toy and talk about how great it is and how much you want one.
  2. Get his clothes laid out next to him and keep talking about the toy and how much you want it.
  3. Mention, I know, if I get you dressed you will owe me something, and I think I will take your toy (in a joking way).
  4. Get “distracted” and leave. ie – “oh, I forgot to brush my teeth”.
  5. Come back to a smiling, proud, dressed 4 year-old talking about how you cannot have his toy.

Job done, no fighting, a lot of fun had for you and your kid.

Are you iAssimulted?

I got the term iAssimulted from the Hawaiian Libertarian. Although he mostly talks about mobile phones in that article, he has another article that talks about digital entrapment. Working with the zombified youth of today, it is pretty clear that almost all youth (boys and girls) are addicted to their daily dose of Satan influenced brainwashing digital media. Most adults are as well. Just look at most parents, as they look at their phone watch their kids.

There are two forces at play here. First, almost everything we do on the Web is “free”. However, programmers who make it all work are some of the most highly paid professionals today. So how is all of this free? Ads. Every product you buy gives companies money, who spend that money on advertisements and marketing, a lot of which goes to ads on the Web. So, to earn money, they need people visit their web page, so they can see the ads and earn the Websites revenue. Companies have put in a lot of research into what makes people visit a Web page. Since spying on your Web habits is pretty easy, companies are easily able to gather a lot of information about you and what you do online.

They use all of this information not only to target you but to also predict what your behaviors will be on the Web. They learned how the subconscious mind works. Since Web page views means more money, digital media companies have pretty much figured out how to keep you on their website as long as possible, and how to get you to come back.

The second force at play is your own mind. There are two main parts to your mind, the frontal cortex (or thinking part of your brain), and the limbic system (or the instinctual part of your brain). The limbic system is where your heart beat, respiration, etc are controlled, and your thoughts live in the frontal cortex. Although everyone want to believe that the frontal cortex is controlling what you do, it really is the limbic system that has the ultimate say. For example, everyone knows not to breath underwater or you will drown. However, after a certain amount of time, the limbic system will override our conscious thoughts and force the body to breath and drown itself, despite the fact that the victim could have survived a few minutes longer without air. Since your limbic system is pretty much just the same as everyone else’s, this makes it pretty easy for companies to figure you out, and “force” you to view their pages longer, and to keep you coming back for more.

The main driver in all of this is dopamine, which is the hormone your body uses to motivate you. Drugs happen to cause the body to release larges amounts of dopamine. Dopamine is the feel good hormone that you get whenever you do something that helps you survive. Eat a good meal and you get dopamine. Go running, get dopamine. Have sex, get dopamine. Dopamine is how the body motivates you to live a purposeful life.

Unfortunately, your body cannot distinguish how you get dopamine. Anything “good” will give it to you. Finding out new information is one way to get dopamine. Get an email, get dopamine. Find out your friend is getting married on Facebook, get dopamine. Find an article specially designed for get you to click on it, get dopamine. And thus, we get addicted to our phones and digital media.

When we start getting cheap sources of dopamine (drugs, porn, digital media, and even the manosphere), we start becoming dependent on it. Ever have the feeling, an anxious feeling, that you need to get online? You limbic system is feeling a drop in dopamine and is worried that you might die if you don’t get some. It then starts to cause fear and uneasiness, and it directs you to get another fix of dopamine.

One other issue at play is neural pathways. Neural pathways are your brain’s way of turning on autopolit. When you showered this morning, did you have to put a lot of thought to it? Neural pathways develop as you repeatedly do things. It allows you to shower while thinking about something else. It allows athletes to get really good at their sport through practice. Everything comes automatic for them. The worst thing a field goal kicker can do is actually think. Just turn his mind on autopilot and let him kick the ball the same way he has done a thousand times in practice. It would be better for a field goal kicker to think about sex while kicking a field goal than it would be to think about kicking a field goal and risk not following his neural pathway.

So, when your limbic system starts craving some dopamine, it just finds the a neural pathway it knows leads to dopamine, and like an obedient slave, your phone comes out, the password is typed in automatically, and your favorite media floods your brain with cheap dopamine. Your limbic system feels like it has done it’s job and solidifies your neural pathway even further.

Cheap dopamine has two effects on you. First, you waste a lot of time and miss out on a lot of experiences. Second, earning dopamine the hard way (like eating healthy, working out, having sex with an actual person, productively earning money, etc.) doesn’t seem worth it. Facebook and other digital media keep giving you cheap dopamine without putting forth much effort. It’s hard for things that are real to compete. However, despite the cheap dopamine making you feel good for a few hours, you know deep down you haven’t accomplished anything. Usually depression will hit you. Plus, you haven’t done anything to actually increase your status among others, nor God.

Unfortunately, we use this “drug” to buffer us from the realities of this world. Feeling tired, pull the phone out. Stressed about your homework, pull your phone out. Girl might reject you if you ask her out, pull your phone out. Working out might make us feel like a wimp, pull the phone out.

You can’t really live and experience this life, if your main source of dopamine comes from watching TV, looking at your phone, playing video games, attention whoring on social media (like most women do), texting friends, etc. Some people miss the most significant moments in their lives because they are too worried about attention whoring documenting it on social media.

All of this is used to buffer you from really living. So here is what you can do about it.

  1. Commit to changing and ask for God’s help.
  2. Change the password on your phone and computer. This will give you a chance to jump out of your neural pathway, and develop a new one.
  3. Use browser plugins like StayFocus’d or LeechBlock to limit your time online, and limit which sites you goto. Although you can easily skirt around them, at least you have something to knock you out of a neural pathway when your time is up.
  4. Move your favorite apps around on your phone, change the way you get to your favorite sites. Delete bookmarks, or reorganize them. All of these little changes will give you a chance to jump out of your neural pathway. Be careful because if you keep forging ahead, your neural pathway will adjust to the new things pretty quickly.
  5. Learn how to deal with you emotions. First you have to identify them, next learn how to deal with them. This will probably include getting exercise, relaxing, meditating (both prayer and yoga-ish stuff), reading books, doing actual work, and even talking to your kids, friends, and family members face-to-face.
  6. And once again re-commit and fix what went wrong when you slip up into your old ways.

Sometimes a full reboot is needed. Go a full month without any news, social media, TV, video games, etc. Disconnect as much as possible. Then when you reconnect, be careful and set strict guidelines. Schedule your media time, and use settings to get the content you want most. On Facebook for example, set up a small group of people that you actually want to receive updates from. Then you can use that group to only get updates from them.

It won’t be easy, but once you start to experience real life again, you will be glad you committed to change. You might be surprised when you actually start feeling the spirit again.

Also, be warned. Cutting dopamine will make you miserable for a few days. You will find that you will lose your temper more often, have cravings for old habits, and be depressed. But it should go away in a few days. I’m not a psychiatrist, so if you start to go crazy please see one. If you already are seeing one, ask his advice before cutting the plug.

How to find a good wife

In my previous post, I discussed if Mormon Men should still consider getting married now that Marriage 2.0 is in full effect. After educating yourself on the risks you will be taking when you get married, and removing a majority of LDS girls off of your list, you might be thinking that there are not any good girls left. However, there are a few hidden gems still out there. In this post, I want to give some general advice to help you find one of the few remaining good LDS girls. Hopefully, since most young men will let the chemical rush in their brains do their picking, you will be able to use your logical brain to pick out the hidden gems.

First of all, you need to have realistic expectations; you need to know your Marriage Market Value (MMV). Knowing how valuable women see you can be painful, but useful information. If you don’t have girls chasing you down all the time, it probably isn’t too high. However, learning game and getting into good shape will definitely help. You have to play the long game here. You need time to build muscles and build a strong frame (6 months to a year). Use this time to observe gender dynamics in your ward. Who are the slutty girls and how do they act? Who are the attention seekers? Who are the 1 or 2 guys in the ward that all the girls want? What qualities do they have that create this attraction? What do guys do that causes them to crash and burn? As you learn game, you will be able to accurately predict girls reactions. Hopefully you will be able to practice overcoming the chemical rushes in your head as you interact with girls, and see them as they really are.

If you are a super alpha 10, then you might be able to attract the hottest girls around. But remember, girls always want to marry up. So if you pick a 9 you have to be a 10, and continue being a 10 even after you marry. You will have a much better chance at attracting a 7, and then make her an 8 or 9.

So after you have learned game, and improved yourself, I would look for a cute but shy girl in the 7 range. Make sure you vet her for anything that indicates she not be good wife material. Make sure she is feminine, mentally stable, not a feminist or a liberal, wants to be a stay-at-home mom, and is willing to work hard. Vet her background as much as possible. Check out her social media accounts for anything suspicious. I wouldn’t be scared of RM girls, especially now that most girls are going on a mission, but if her mission gives her some sort of feeling of superiority that could be a warning sign. If she hasn’t gone on a mission, you should probably find out why not. Is she selfish and didn’t want to give up her time to serve? Does she have medical problems (mental problems)?

Next, apply your game and attract her. Don’t just take her on standard, run of the mill, dinner and a movie dates. Hopefully, you can take her to enjoy some of your hobbies (but not your main hobby). You should have a main hobby that is too manly for her. Make sure you have a strong frame and she knows it.

Girls like to follow strong men. Even though she will be brainwashed into the feminine-primary social order, you can lead her out. Point out some observations you have noticed. Slowly teach her the red pill WITHOUT pointing her to websites. Bring up articles where women falsely accuse men of rape, point out how women at BYU want to behave bad without a consequence.  Be really slow or you might freak her out. You should see her start adopting a red pill attitude without even know what the red pill is. Remember, girls will naturally follow good strong men. If she is good marriage material, you will see her adopt your thoughts and attitudes.

So the overall plan is 1) Improve yourself and build your MMV. 2) Find a girl who doesn’t know how cute she can be. 3) Undue the feminine-primary indoctrination by leading her out. 4) She will grow in confidence, hopefully pick up your fit lifestyle and become hot. 4) Vet her like crazy for anything that shows potential marriage stopping qualities. 5) Get Engaged. 6) Vet her for symptoms of good girl syndrome. Remember it is protecting her, but make sure she can easily adopt a sex positive attitude once married. Make sure she knows that you will be having lots of sex and that she is okay with it. 7) Marry her. 8) Cure her of any remaining good girl syndrome. 8) Have kids and live a happy life.

I know it is a lot harder than it sounds. The key is picking out a girl unaware of her potential value, and then develop her into the perfect wife. Here are some good signs you are on the right track. 1) Your friends and roommates will be a little surprised you picked her to ask on a date. Not too shocked (like “Wow! you are asking the ward fattie on a date.” shocked), but more like “huh, why her?” As you progress in your relationship, your roommates will soon start to show respect and admiration for you, as they start to see how great of a girl you have gotten (or made).

There are several other strategies you can employ, and this is only one way to approach your dating life. In todays post-feminist world, this strategy could be your best bet. Good luck, and don’t get kicked out of college as you sexually harass ask a girl out.

Should Mormon Men get Married?

Dalrock has a post about Brad Wilcox’s plea for young men to step up and get married, along with the MGTOW’s response. I have been wanting to do a post about this for a while, so here are my thoughts.

Before getting married, men need to know the realities of marriage 2.0. Dalrock has a two post series about getting married in today’s new reality. You need to know the risks you are taking when you do decide to marry, and if you do decide to marry, you do need to choose wisely. I would recommend following his advice in both deciding if you do get married, and also who you should marry.

Since the LDS community is different, there are some observations that I have noticed that you should take into account.

First of all, both LDS young men and young women are still taught that sex outside of married is strictly forbidden. This is a very good thing. The chances of meeting a virgin LDS girl is much higher than meeting a non-LDS virgin girl. (Even most Christians are not virgins when they get married.) As an LDS man, I would never consider dating a non-virgin girl, let alone marrying one. This girl will have all the power of the state to destroy your life. It is not worth the risk. This especially includes divorced women. Don’t think that just because a girl is LDS means that she won’t rip your kids away from you, throw you in jail for “domestic violence”, get your temple recommend revoked, make it so you cannot get sealed to another women, etc. If you do get married, you do so at great risk. Choose wisely.

First, you should not assume that every LDS girl is a virgin. You need to investigate and make sure she is a virgin very early on in your relationship. You need to know her dating history. Did she kiss a lot of guys? Was NCMO her thing in college? Did she have a serious boyfriend all through high school? You goal is to determine how much resistance she has to her “rationalization hamster”.

All girls have a “rationalization hamster”, or a series of conscious thoughts (or temptations) that allow a girl to rationalize committing a sin. In other words, when a women’s hind brains detect that an alpha bad boy has good genes, her conscious brain starts working on a plan to make it “okay” to fornicate with him, even though she knows it is a sin. The good thing about the LDS community is that fornication and divorce are still looked down upon, and women do get shamed for doing so. Also, good LDS girls have a strong testimony and do not want to displease God. Although this leads to “good girl syndrome” when girls do get married, it does a pretty good job at keeping girls virgins until they marry, and keeping wives from straying afterwards.

However, as Mormon culture slowly adapts to the world culture, don’t be surprised to find your wife having an affair and you getting blamed by everyone for “domestic violence”. Then she uses the power of the law to toss you out of your house, the the bishop to excommunicate you, your sealing canceled, and her new boyfriend being her new “eternal companion” raising your kids while you live in a poor neighborhood slaving away to support your ex-family. Although this is the worst case scenario, it should serve as a warning on how a girl’s rationalization hamster can completely destroy your life. Your wife’s rationalization hamster can work overtime to find a way to “morally” replace you for a better man.

The best sign that a girl has weak hamster resistance is immodesty. Most girls seek out sexual attention by using their bodies. LDS girls have been taught not to be immodest. If the temptation to gain sexual attention through immodesty is to strong for a girl to resist, then she has weak hamster resistance. A lot LDS college girls I see have no problem putting on a bikini, wearing yoga pants, and otherwise be immodest to not only gain sexual attention from males, but also to show up their female “friends”. You cannot trust that an immodest girl like this will resist the many temptations she will have to cheat on you. You cannot trust her to not spend yourself into crazy debt for the best clothes, the best house, and the best car. You cannot trust her to resist the temptation to “have it all” by ditching your kids in daycare while she becomes a corporate slave. You cannot trust her to put down her indoctrination devices phone and actually pay attention to your kids, clean the house, and cook good meals.

Other signs of weak hamster resistance is exclusive dating in high school, gossiping and being mean to other girls, large amounts of debt, etc. Don’t marry psycho girls either! Check into their past mental health history. Although you probably don’t want to marry a fat girl, being fat and out of shape is also a sign of weak hamster resistance. In fact, a good way to see if a girl has weak hamster resistance is going running together. There are lots of girls (and boys too) that cannot even run a mile without stopping. Once it starts to hurt a little, they give up and start walking. If they cannot push themselves through the pain it takes to get in shape, I doubt they have the self-discipline to resist a hamster. Keep in mind, just because she can run well is not a guarantee she will make a good wife, but if she cannot run a mile, I doubt she can stay off Facebook while she is suppose to be watching your kids. Almost all of the couples in my married student ward where the wife was fat, ended up divorced.

Of course, you need to avoid all career driven girls. If you go out with a girl who does not freely talk about her desire to be a good mother, next her. If she seems more interested in her career than her dating life, next her. Career driven girls are selfish and will have little time for you, your kids, and absolutely no energy to keep up a regular sex life. Next any girl who has any career aspirations. Next any girls who hates cooking and taking care of kids. Next any girl seeking attention on social media. Next any girl who “needs to see the world” (which is really saying they will get bored with you).

Remember, your have a hind brain too. Attractive girls have the ability to shut down your logic center, and flood your brain with feel good chemicals. Don’t let this stop you from properly investigating a girl’s background, and her potential for being a good mother and wife. You do not want to marry someone who will nag you, not have sex with you, be a horrible mother, and potentially ruin your life just because she once filled your brain with feel good chemicals.

I would say though, if you do find the right girl, it is worth it. Married life is a million times better than single life. Holding your brand new son or daughter in your arms will be a moment you will never forget, along with the many other memories raising kids brings. Sharing your life with a beautiful, feminine, Godly girl that trusts you, helps you, works with you, and of course is intimate with you will bring more happiness into your life than any other way. Even if my wife tosses me aside tomorrow, I will still have all of these wonderful experiences that have enriched my life beyond anything that single life would have given me. But, it only works with the right girl.

So, what should you do if you do not find the right girl? Don’t settle! It is better to be single than married to the wrong girl. If a bishop, or parent, or anyone else nags you about getting married tell them the truth about why you are not married. Tell them you don’t want to be married to a career driven girl that doesn’t have time for you or kids. Tell them you don’t want to be married to an immodest, slutty girl. Tell them you do not want to marry a social media attention seeking whore. Tell them you do not want marry a girl who has no motherly parenting skills. Tell them you do not want to marry a fat lazy chick who’s idea of cooking is finding the nearest McDonalds. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl that cannot put forth the work it takes to make herself attractive. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl that will nag you all the time. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl that wants to spend all of your money and put you into crazy debt. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl who will only have sex with you once a year.

Flip the script on them. Everyone always assumes there are no good men left. Help them realize there are very few good women left. Help them realize that you do have the right to be choosy in whom you marry. Girls are told all the time not to settle, so boys shouldn’t either.

What if you never find a good girl to marry? Haven’t women been told that if the blessings of being married doesn’t happen in this life, that they will be blessed with the opportunity in the next? Does being a man exclude you from the same promise? I don’t think so. If you actively try to make yourself the best, most attractive man you can, and actively search for a good girl to marry and don’t find one, do you really think that God will judge you based on your sex?

If you do still want to get married, my next post describes a good strategy to take.