Why your daughter can’t get married

Before you go and blame all of those “man children” and “peter pan boys” for the lack of suitable mates for your daughter, you should really examine what it would mean to marry your precious little princess. I know that you might be upset that your daughter will not have the happiness you want her to have, or you have now realized that you will not have a righteous posterity you thought you would have. It is easy to direct that anger towards the rational thinking young men you have insultingly called peter pan boys, instead of getting to the painful truth on why your daughter is not seen as a good marriage prospect.

She has an elevated sense of her Marriage Market Value

She’s too picky. Your daughter isn’t married is because you have told her ever since she was a little girl, that she is too good for the guys out there. You encouraged her “girl power” attitude, and told her about all of those stupid “peter pan boys.” You placed her education, popularity,  and career above marriage and family.

Since media tells girls this constantly, all it takes for her to elevate herself above all of her marriage prospects is for you to stay silent. She goes to college, and ignores the boys who actually do like her enough to marry her. She has the hots for the one or two boys all of the other girls want, and ignores all of the other ones that might actually ask her out.

Now, no matter how attractive you daughter is, she feels entitled to only the best looking men. When she tells you she hasn’t been asked out in over a year, one of two things are probably happening. 1) She has been asked out, or has been receiving attention from perfectly good guys. However, these guys are not 2-3 hottest guys in her ward, and your daughter considers herself above them. Therefore, in her mind, do not count as a date. Or 2) your daughter feels like she is so above most of the guys around her, she “tells” all of them to not approach her, with her body language and attitude. (see below).

Remember that girls will only marry up. If they think they are all that (because I’m going to be super girl), then they will think they are too good for most guys.

She is out of shape

Don’t get me wrong, there are probably plenty of guys that will date bigger girls, but as described above, they are not good enough for her. If your daughter cannot find any guys worth dating (you know the ones with jobs and their head screwed on straight) she isn’t attractive to them. Why should these guys settle for a out-of-shape girl when there are plenty of in-shape girls knocking on their door.

I know this is a sensitive topic, and having daughters myself, know how hard this can be. As fathers, we need to counter balance the media that tells girls to be stick thin. Make sure that they know that guys like bodies of all kinds, as long as they eat right and exercise. That is the honest truth. Being around a lot of youth and seeing them interact in singles wards, I have never seen girls that eat right and exercise not have guys wanting to date them, even if they have a bigger build.

Essentially, if your daughter knows how to keep her self in shape and does it, then she will be attractive to quite a few men. There are plenty of men willing to date and marry girls that are out of shape, so there are a lot more that will want to marry your daughter that is actually in shape. If you want your daughter to marry a good man, one of the best things you can do for her, is teach her how to eat right and exercise. As long as she is a pleasant girl, there will be plenty of good boys wanting to date her. As long as she doesn’t think she is too good for them, she will have lots of dates.

She’s not pleasant to be around

If your daughter is materialistic, stubborn, moody, bossy, and walks around like she is the queen of the world, she sends a message to most guys to keep away. She was a mean, bratty teenager who often had you cowering in a corner. Now you expect some guy (with a job and his head screwed on straight) to deal with her, for the rest of eternity? How many guys do you think want to live with that? Especially since they have lots of pleasant girls around them.

All of the girl power movies (see Moana), telling girls to be bossy and defiant are not doing them any favors. Although guys might like a little attitude, what they really want is a fun person to be around.

They have seen plenty of shows, that show wives nagging their husbands, putting them down, and treating them like they are stupider than their kids. They don’t want to sign up for that. Not only do these shows scare guys away from marriage, they teach girls to disrespect guys.

Now your daughter thinks being bossy will earn her a knight in shinny armor. She walks around entitled, scaring every good prospect away. But hey, it’s okay, “a real man” will know how to handle me! No thanks.

She’s career driven

Although there might be some boys willing to sign up to be Mr. Mom, career driven girls are not helping their attractiveness. They are just making themselves too important and too busy to date. Usually marrying a career driven girl means you will need to work AND be Mr. Mom while your wife if off wasting her time  saving the world in a cubicle (probably while hanging out with other men more attractive and interesting than any Mr. Mom could be.)

She Has no Nurturing Skills

Like the rest of western society, you are offended that girls should be taught to care for and nurture children. You didn’t bother to teach your daughter how to cook. (Who has time for cooking when you have a career, sports, and other girl power pursuits to think about?) She doesn’t bring anything of value to the relationship, yet you expect young men to man up and marry her.

Movies and Shows tell boys to sit down and shut up

Now this might be the boys problem, but when was the last movie that had a male hero, that didn’t need the help of a female? I mean movies like Moana, but with a boy instead of a girl. If there is one, is there a girl in the movie there to set him straight?

What do you expect when we fill young kids minds with the narrative that girls are awesome and are just being held back by evil men (ie dad’s), and boys need a girl to help them achieve anything.

The only way feminism (and Satan) can elevate women above men is by telling boys to sit down and shut up. Almost every show kids watch send a message to boys to deferrer to girls.

Since, most kid’s parents are too busy slaving away in a cubicle to send any other message, can you blame boys from just wanting to play video games and not grow up. Who are they supposed to grow up to be? A cubicle slave? A husband who gets nagged by his wife all of the time? A father who gets pushed over by his kids? Seriously, who is supposed to be their role models that they actually want to be?

That being said, there are lots of guys out their with a job and a future. They have just been brain washed to think that they should deferrer to girls all the time, and you taught your daughter she is too good for them.

Conclusion

Before you accuse all young men of being peter pan boys hooked on porn and video games, give a good look at your daughter and think, would she be a good wife for me? Look at the shows that boys are raised on and think, would I want to sign up to be a “stupid husband nagged by his wife”?

The fact of the matter is, most young men want to marry a good looking, feminine wife. They want to be good fathers. The only role models they see are the stupid husbands on TV, and most girls are too good for them. They just want a nice, loving pleasant girl. Since there aren’t a lot of girls that fit that bill, of course they would rather play video games.

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9 thoughts on “Why your daughter can’t get married

  1. Another major reason why these little darlings can’t get married is this entitlement mentality so many of them seem to have. So many times, I’ve seen it on Fakebook where they say “I deserve…..”.

    Oh, yeah? Methinks they do protest too much. They all need to get a dictionary and find out what “deserve” actually means and then tell us what “attribute” or “accomplishment” of theirs entitles them to anything.

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  2. Having raised 2 boys and 3 girls (now ages 30 to 20) I can easily say that there are a LOT more good women looking to get married than there are men. While this stupid article attempts to defend the peter pan effeminate millennial males (who have little interest in sex outside their self-serving pornographic masturbatory practices) it is attempting to do so by blaming the women. That is hilarious. Most young women I know (including my two unmarried daughters) are far more in shape and in touch with the world and the responsibilities of real life than 99% of the young men. The problem is that the men were not raised to be men and their parents let them live in the basement, rent free, and have zero expectations of them. My sons knew they had to get on with life or be homeless. So they did what anyone would choose to do in that situation. Now they are both husbands, fathers, breadwinners, and contributing to the world rather than expecting for it to revolve around them…

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    • So, let me get this straight, you think it is hilarious that I suggest the reason that girls can’t get married is because those girls are not very good marriage material?

      I think it is hilarious that you are blaming “peter pan” boys addicted to porn for the reason your daughters can’t get married. So these peter pan boys, who are not complaining about anything, are expecting the world to revolve around them. But, your girls, who feel like they deserve a husband just by the mere fact that they were born female, don’t think the world revolves around them?

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    • You need to get out more. If young women *really* wanted to get married, they’d make themselves more attractive to me. All I see is a lot of overweight, unattractive whiners with an entitlement mentality.

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    • You know, I think there are some good points in both sides of this argument. However, I feel we are all looking at this from an incorrect perspective. I have noticed a lot of blame going on. I have seen tragic events in the news where people try to pinpoint blame. An alligator snatched up a toddler. What did the news focus on?: Do we blame the parents, or do we blame the park? We certainly can’t blame the alligator. Meanwhile, a family is suffering not only the death of their child, but the ridicule of those blaming them for bad parenting. We get so wrapped up in the blame game that we do not focus on the people. What is it that Elder Oaks says, we need to not focus so much on our rights, as we need to focus on our responsibilities. I think this article brings up a good question, however, I don’t believe it has the right answer. I agree that we need to stop blaming all young men, but we also should not blame young women. Each scenario is situational to that individual. About a year ago, I went on a date every week with a different girl. Some were interested in further dating, and there were some I was interested in, I was frustrated because none of those seemed to line up. I could not find someone I was interested in, who was also interested in me. In this process, I realized that some guys worry to ask girls on dates because they are afraid the girl will instantly think they are getting married. Some girls are afraid to go on dates with guys because they think that after one date, guys will want to marry them. It was interesting to see that what kept my friends from dating was mutual fears. If they had let go of their fears, gone on a date, they would have had a fun time. Commitment is mutual. Sure, girls often talk about marriage after the first date, but I don’t think they are convinced they are going to marry the guy. Again, it’s situational. I’ve had roommates who were afraid to go on a date with a girl and I said, “Relax, you aren’t committing to marriage. Just have a good time. If you don’t want it to go any further, then it doesn’t have to.” “Well, what if they want to?” “Then talk to them. Be tender with their feelings, but clear.” I have had this conversation and I have been on both ends. We all need to work on our conversation. Playing the blame game won’t help. I am now getting married in a week. I just put my trust in the Lord and let Him direct my path. No one is perfect, and you can find flaws in anyone, all you need to do is look for them. They are easy to find. But strengths are just as easy to find. We just so often look for the negative first. A simple paradigm shift will change our viewpoint. It’s just as easy to be nice, as it is cruel–we just have to make that decision. One thing I like about this generation of young men, is that they have a knowledge of the scriptures that we have not seen in such masses. There are some good young men, who I have witnessed who everyday strive to cheer others up and extend a warm smile. One thing I love about the young women of this generation, they are so involved. Their voices are heard, and they reach out to people. They have stepped up to answer the call to serve missions when they did not have to. Even the young men are stepping up to serve. There is so much entitlement, so much selfishness, and dissociative spiritual thinking in this world and even in the members of the Church. But likewise, I blame the youth for the goodness that is in the world, I blame them for goodness that is in the Lord’s church today. This is Christ’s church. We have Prophets and Apostles, and the youth are some of the fruit whereby you can know that this Church is true. I am continually impressed by the goodness I see. I am not ignorant to the bad. But I understand we are all on the same team.

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    • I am sorry for your daughters. There is no good easy answer in this messed up world.

      I have mostly sons and I doubt they will be able to find a Mormon woman who wants to stay at home with children. All the young women want to be doctors and lawyers, none want to be moms. Why would my boys sign up for that?

      Peter pan syndrome is many things and partly it is the reaction to girls deciding they don’t want to be moms. If they don’t want to be moms why should boys prepare themselves to be fathers. In general, the millennial girls seem to be trying to be boys and are not very good at it, and the millennial boys in reaction seem to want to be nothing.

      So there is plenty of blame to go around, but ignoring the blame of parents pushing all their daughters to careers and the blame of the girls not putting marriage first is as important as recognizing the failing of our young men.

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  3. Apologies for the long comment, but this one struck a nerve…
    While the tone of this article is a bit mean spirited – and maybe a bit defensive? – it is (sadly) pretty spot-on accurate with regard to today’s young unmarried women… While the porn-addicted, Peter Pan problem is very real for many young single men, the points this article/rant outlines are the opposite side of that coin… And they are just as real for young single women.
    I served in a singles ward bishopric for several years and absolutely LOVED the young people there. It was clear that most wanted desperately to find a spouse, both men and women… While I was there, quite a few found partners and got married, some even married each other. There were few surprises. Those that seemed “marryable” got married. The rest mostly just complained about the lack of options for dating in the ward/world.
    Here’s my take: If you are young and single, be someone that anyone in their right mind would want to be with!
    Guys – you need to be reasonably fit, well groomed (or strategically shaggy and unkempt, but clean and nice smelling). You need a job – preferable one that provides enough to support a household. In lieu of this, have a plan to get there (and be actively working that plan)! Have a calling and a temple recommend. Be the kind of guy you’d trust your kids and future wife with. There are a handful of amazing, beautiful women out there and one of them is looking for you. Put down the video game controller and get out of your parents’ basement and find her.
    Women – you also need to be reasonably fit and well groomed. Be as physically beautiful as possible. Do NOT come to FHE in holey sweat pants without makeup if you want to get married… Ever! Move forward in your life and career because you are still single and because it will help you take charge of a household some day… (Not because you want to be CEO.) Learn to cook really well. Have a calling and a temple recommend.
    There are a handful of amazing, hard working single men out there (even some who have beaten their porn addiction) and one of them is looking for you.

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    • I would modify one thing- choose a career that can be quit easily without impact to the family. If girls go to med school the investment demands they practice. Its easier to give up nursing or social work or teaching. If they go for the “prestigious” careers they are telling men whats most important is themselves not their future children.

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