Why your daughter can’t get married

Before you go and blame all of those “man children” and “peter pan boys” for the lack of suitable mates for your daughter, you should really examine what it would mean to marry your precious little princess. I know that you might be upset that your daughter will not have the happiness you want her to have, or you have now realized that you will not have a righteous posterity you thought you would have. It is easy to direct that anger towards the rational thinking young men you have insultingly called peter pan boys, instead of getting to the painful truth on why your daughter is not seen as a good marriage prospect.

She has an elevated sense of her Marriage Market Value

She’s too picky. Your daughter isn’t married is because you have told her ever since she was a little girl, that she is too good for the guys out there. You encouraged her “girl power” attitude, and told her about all of those stupid “peter pan boys.” You placed her education, popularity,  and career above marriage and family.

Since media tells girls this constantly, all it takes for her to elevate herself above all of her marriage prospects is for you to stay silent. She goes to college, and ignores the boys who actually do like her enough to marry her. She has the hots for the one or two boys all of the other girls want, and ignores all of the other ones that might actually ask her out.

Now, no matter how attractive you daughter is, she feels entitled to only the best looking men. When she tells you she hasn’t been asked out in over a year, one of two things are probably happening. 1) She has been asked out, or has been receiving attention from perfectly good guys. However, these guys are not 2-3 hottest guys in her ward, and your daughter considers herself above them. Therefore, in her mind, do not count as a date. Or 2) your daughter feels like she is so above most of the guys around her, she “tells” all of them to not approach her, with her body language and attitude. (see below).

Remember that girls will only marry up. If they think they are all that (because I’m going to be super girl), then they will think they are too good for most guys.

She is out of shape

Don’t get me wrong, there are probably plenty of guys that will date bigger girls, but as described above, they are not good enough for her. If your daughter cannot find any guys worth dating (you know the ones with jobs and their head screwed on straight) she isn’t attractive to them. Why should these guys settle for a out-of-shape girl when there are plenty of in-shape girls knocking on their door.

I know this is a sensitive topic, and having daughters myself, know how hard this can be. As fathers, we need to counter balance the media that tells girls to be stick thin. Make sure that they know that guys like bodies of all kinds, as long as they eat right and exercise. That is the honest truth. Being around a lot of youth and seeing them interact in singles wards, I have never seen girls that eat right and exercise not have guys wanting to date them, even if they have a bigger build.

Essentially, if your daughter knows how to keep her self in shape and does it, then she will be attractive to quite a few men. There are plenty of men willing to date and marry girls that are out of shape, so there are a lot more that will want to marry your daughter that is actually in shape. If you want your daughter to marry a good man, one of the best things you can do for her, is teach her how to eat right and exercise. As long as she is a pleasant girl, there will be plenty of good boys wanting to date her. As long as she doesn’t think she is too good for them, she will have lots of dates.

She’s not pleasant to be around

If your daughter is materialistic, stubborn, moody, bossy, and walks around like she is the queen of the world, she sends a message to most guys to keep away. She was a mean, bratty teenager who often had you cowering in a corner. Now you expect some guy (with a job and his head screwed on straight) to deal with her, for the rest of eternity? How many guys do you think want to live with that? Especially since they have lots of pleasant girls around them.

All of the girl power movies (see Moana), telling girls to be bossy and defiant are not doing them any favors. Although guys might like a little attitude, what they really want is a fun person to be around.

They have seen plenty of shows, that show wives nagging their husbands, putting them down, and treating them like they are stupider than their kids. They don’t want to sign up for that. Not only do these shows scare guys away from marriage, they teach girls to disrespect guys.

Now your daughter thinks being bossy will earn her a knight in shinny armor. She walks around entitled, scaring every good prospect away. But hey, it’s okay, “a real man” will know how to handle me! No thanks.

She’s career driven

Although there might be some boys willing to sign up to be Mr. Mom, career driven girls are not helping their attractiveness. They are just making themselves too important and too busy to date. Usually marrying a career driven girl means you will need to work AND be Mr. Mom while your wife if off wasting her time  saving the world in a cubicle (probably while hanging out with other men more attractive and interesting than any Mr. Mom could be.)

She Has no Nurturing Skills

Like the rest of western society, you are offended that girls should be taught to care for and nurture children. You didn’t bother to teach your daughter how to cook. (Who has time for cooking when you have a career, sports, and other girl power pursuits to think about?) She doesn’t bring anything of value to the relationship, yet you expect young men to man up and marry her.

Movies and Shows tell boys to sit down and shut up

Now this might be the boys problem, but when was the last movies that had a male hero, that didn’t need the help of a female? I mean movies like Moana, but with a boy instead of a girl. If there is one, is there a girl in the movie there to set him straight?

What do you expect when we fill young kids minds with the narrative that girls are awesome and are just being held back by evil men (ie dad’s), and boys need a girl to help them achieve anything.

The only way feminism (and Satan) can elevate women above men is by telling boys to sit down and shut up. Almost every show kids watch send a message to boys to deferrer to girls.

Since, most kid’s parents are too busy slaving away in a cubicle to send any other message, can you blame boys from just wanting to play video games and not grow up. Who are they supposed to grow up to be? A cubicle slave? A husband who gets nagged by his wife all of the time? A father who gets pushed over by his kids? Seriously, who is supposed to be their role models that they actually want to be?

That being said, there are lots of guys out their with jobs and a future. They have just been brain washed to think that they should deferrer to girls all the time, and you taught your daughter she is too good for them.

Conclusion

Before you accuse all young men of being peter pan boys hooked on porn and video games, give a good look at your daughter and think, would she be a good wife for me? Look at the shows that boys are raised on and think, would I want to sign up to be a “stupid husband nagged by his wife”?

The fact of the matter is, most young men want to marry a good looking, feminine wife. They want to be good fathers. The only role models they see are the stupid husbands on TV, and most girls are too good for them. They just want a nice, loving pleasant girl. Since there aren’t a lot of girls that fit that bill, of course they would rather play video games.

How to find a good wife

In my previous post, I discussed if Mormon Men should still consider getting married now that Marriage 2.0 is in full effect. After educating yourself on the risks you will be taking when you get married, and removing a majority of LDS girls off of your list, you might be thinking that there are not any good girls left. However, there are a few hidden gems still out there. In this post, I want to give some general advice to help you find one of the few remaining good LDS girls. Hopefully, since most young men will let the chemical rush in their brains do their picking, you will be able to use your logical brain to pick out the hidden gems.

First of all, you need to have realistic expectations; you need to know your Marriage Market Value (MMV). Knowing how valuable women see you can be painful, but useful information. If you don’t have girls chasing you down all the time, it probably isn’t too high. However, learning game and getting into good shape will definitely help. You have to play the long game here. You need time to build muscles and build a strong frame (6 months to a year). Use this time to observe gender dynamics in your ward. Who are the slutty girls and how do they act? Who are the attention seekers? Who are the 1 or 2 guys in the ward that all the girls want? What qualities do they have that create this attraction? What do guys do that causes them to crash and burn? As you learn game, you will be able to accurately predict girls reactions. Hopefully you will be able to practice overcoming the chemical rushes in your head as you interact with girls, and see them as they really are.

If you are a super alpha 10, then you might be able to attract the hottest girls around. But remember, girls always want to marry up. So if you pick a 9 you have to be a 10, and continue being a 10 even after you marry. You will have a much better chance at attracting a 7, and then make her an 8 or 9.

So after you have learned game, and improved yourself, I would look for a cute but shy girl in the 7 range. Make sure you vet her for anything that indicates she not be good wife material. Make sure she is feminine, mentally stable, not a feminist or a liberal, wants to be a stay-at-home mom, and is willing to work hard. Vet her background as much as possible. Check out her social media accounts for anything suspicious. I wouldn’t be scared of RM girls, especially now that most girls are going on a mission, but if her mission gives her some sort of feeling of superiority that could be a warning sign. If she hasn’t gone on a mission, you should probably find out why not. Is she selfish and didn’t want to give up her time to serve? Does she have medical problems (mental problems)?

Next, apply your game and attract her. Don’t just take her on standard, run of the mill, dinner and a movie dates. Hopefully, you can take her to enjoy some of your hobbies (but not your main hobby). You should have a main hobby that is too manly for her. Make sure you have a strong frame and she knows it.

Girls like to follow strong men. Even though she will be brainwashed into the feminine-primary social order, you can lead her out. Point out some observations you have noticed. Slowly teach her the red pill WITHOUT pointing her to websites. Bring up articles where women falsely accuse men of rape, point out how women at BYU want to behave bad without a consequence.  Be really slow or you might freak her out. You should see her start adopting a red pill attitude without even know what the red pill is. Remember, girls will naturally follow good strong men. If she is good marriage material, you will see her adopt your thoughts and attitudes.

So the overall plan is 1) Improve yourself and build your MMV. 2) Find a girl who doesn’t know how cute she can be. 3) Undue the feminine-primary indoctrination by leading her out. 4) She will grow in confidence, hopefully pick up your fit lifestyle and become hot. 4) Vet her like crazy for anything that shows potential marriage stopping qualities. 5) Get Engaged. 6) Vet her for symptoms of good girl syndrome. Remember it is protecting her, but make sure she can easily adopt a sex positive attitude once married. Make sure she knows that you will be having lots of sex and that she is okay with it. 7) Marry her. 8) Cure her of any remaining good girl syndrome. 8) Have kids and live a happy life.

I know it is a lot harder than it sounds. The key is picking out a girl unaware of her potential value, and then develop her into the perfect wife. Here are some good signs you are on the right track. 1) Your friends and roommates will be a little surprised you picked her to ask on a date. Not too shocked (like “Wow! you are asking the ward fattie on a date.” shocked), but more like “huh, why her?” As you progress in your relationship, your roommates will soon start to show respect and admiration for you, as they start to see how great of a girl you have gotten (or made).

There are several other strategies you can employ, and this is only one way to approach your dating life. In todays post-feminist world, this strategy could be your best bet. Good luck, and don’t get kicked out of college as you sexually harass ask a girl out.

Should Mormon Men get Married?

Dalrock has a post about Brad Wilcox’s plea for young men to step up and get married, along with the MGTOW’s response. I have been wanting to do a post about this for a while, so here are my thoughts.

Before getting married, men need to know the realities of marriage 2.0. Dalrock has a two post series about getting married in today’s new reality. You need to know the risks you are taking when you do decide to marry, and if you do decide to marry, you do need to choose wisely. I would recommend following his advice in both deciding if you do get married, and also who you should marry.

Since the LDS community is different, there are some observations that I have noticed that you should take into account.

First of all, both LDS young men and young women are still taught that sex outside of married is strictly forbidden. This is a very good thing. The chances of meeting a virgin LDS girl is much higher than meeting a non-LDS virgin girl. (Even most Christians are not virgins when they get married.) As an LDS man, I would never consider dating a non-virgin girl, let alone marrying one. This girl will have all the power of the state to destroy your life. It is not worth the risk. This especially includes divorced women. Don’t think that just because a girl is LDS means that she won’t rip your kids away from you, throw you in jail for “domestic violence”, get your temple recommend revoked, make it so you cannot get sealed to another women, etc. If you do get married, you do so at great risk. Choose wisely.

First, you should not assume that every LDS girl is a virgin. You need to investigate and make sure she is a virgin very early on in your relationship. You need to know her dating history. Did she kiss a lot of guys? Was NCMO her thing in college? Did she have a serious boyfriend all through high school? You goal is to determine how much resistance she has to her “rationalization hamster”.

All girls have a “rationalization hamster”, or a series of conscious thoughts (or temptations) that allow a girl to rationalize committing a sin. In other words, when a women’s hind brains detect that an alpha bad boy has good genes, her conscious brain starts working on a plan to make it “okay” to fornicate with him, even though she knows it is a sin. The good thing about the LDS community is that fornication and divorce are still looked down upon, and women do get shamed for doing so. Also, good LDS girls have a strong testimony and do not want to displease God. Although this leads to “good girl syndrome” when girls do get married, it does a pretty good job at keeping girls virgins until they marry, and keeping wives from straying afterwards.

However, as Mormon culture slowly adapts to the world culture, don’t be surprised to find your wife having an affair and you getting blamed by everyone for “domestic violence”. Then she uses the power of the law to toss you out of your house, the the bishop to excommunicate you, your sealing canceled, and her new boyfriend being her new “eternal companion” raising your kids while you live in a poor neighborhood slaving away to support your ex-family. Although this is the worst case scenario, it should serve as a warning on how a girl’s rationalization hamster can completely destroy your life. Your wife’s rationalization hamster can work overtime to find a way to “morally” replace you for a better man.

The best sign that a girl has weak hamster resistance is immodesty. Most girls seek out sexual attention by using their bodies. LDS girls have been taught not to be immodest. If the temptation to gain sexual attention through immodesty is to strong for a girl to resist, then she has weak hamster resistance. A lot LDS college girls I see have no problem putting on a bikini, wearing yoga pants, and otherwise be immodest to not only gain sexual attention from males, but also to show up their female “friends”. You cannot trust that an immodest girl like this will resist the many temptations she will have to cheat on you. You cannot trust her to not spend yourself into crazy debt for the best clothes, the best house, and the best car. You cannot trust her to resist the temptation to “have it all” by ditching your kids in daycare while she becomes a corporate slave. You cannot trust her to put down her indoctrination devices phone and actually pay attention to your kids, clean the house, and cook good meals.

Other signs of weak hamster resistance is exclusive dating in high school, gossiping and being mean to other girls, large amounts of debt, etc. Don’t marry psycho girls either! Check into their past mental health history. Although you probably don’t want to marry a fat girl, being fat and out of shape is also a sign of weak hamster resistance. In fact, a good way to see if a girl has weak hamster resistance is going running together. There are lots of girls (and boys too) that cannot even run a mile without stopping. Once it starts to hurt a little, they give up and start walking. If they cannot push themselves through the pain it takes to get in shape, I doubt they have the self-discipline to resist a hamster. Keep in mind, just because she can run well is not a guarantee she will make a good wife, but if she cannot run a mile, I doubt she can stay off Facebook while she is suppose to be watching your kids. Almost all of the couples in my married student ward where the wife was fat, ended up divorced.

Of course, you need to avoid all career driven girls. If you go out with a girl who does not freely talk about her desire to be a good mother, next her. If she seems more interested in her career than her dating life, next her. Career driven girls are selfish and will have little time for you, your kids, and absolutely no energy to keep up a regular sex life. Next any girl who has any career aspirations. Next any girls who hates cooking and taking care of kids. Next any girl seeking attention on social media. Next any girl who “needs to see the world” (which is really saying they will get bored with you).

Remember, your have a hind brain too. Attractive girls have the ability to shut down your logic center, and flood your brain with feel good chemicals. Don’t let this stop you from properly investigating a girl’s background, and her potential for being a good mother and wife. You do not want to marry someone who will nag you, not have sex with you, be a horrible mother, and potentially ruin your life just because she once filled your brain with feel good chemicals.

I would say though, if you do find the right girl, it is worth it. Married life is a million times better than single life. Holding your brand new son or daughter in your arms will be a moment you will never forget, along with the many other memories raising kids brings. Sharing your life with a beautiful, feminine, Godly girl that trusts you, helps you, works with you, and of course is intimate with you will bring more happiness into your life than any other way. Even if my wife tosses me aside tomorrow, I will still have all of these wonderful experiences that have enriched my life beyond anything that single life would have given me. But, it only works with the right girl.

So, what should you do if you do not find the right girl? Don’t settle! It is better to be single than married to the wrong girl. If a bishop, or parent, or anyone else nags you about getting married tell them the truth about why you are not married. Tell them you don’t want to be married to a career driven girl that doesn’t have time for you or kids. Tell them you don’t want to be married to an immodest, slutty girl. Tell them you do not want to marry a social media attention seeking whore. Tell them you do not want marry a girl who has no motherly parenting skills. Tell them you do not want to marry a fat lazy chick who’s idea of cooking is finding the nearest McDonalds. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl that cannot put forth the work it takes to make herself attractive. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl that will nag you all the time. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl that wants to spend all of your money and put you into crazy debt. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl who will only have sex with you once a year.

Flip the script on them. Everyone always assumes there are no good men left. Help them realize there are very few good women left. Help them realize that you do have the right to be choosy in whom you marry. Girls are told all the time not to settle, so boys shouldn’t either.

What if you never find a good girl to marry? Haven’t women been told that if the blessings of being married doesn’t happen in this life, that they will be blessed with the opportunity in the next? Does being a man exclude you from the same promise? I don’t think so. If you actively try to make yourself the best, most attractive man you can, and actively search for a good girl to marry and don’t find one, do you really think that God will judge you based on your sex?

If you do still want to get married, my next post describes a good strategy to take.

 

How Title IX is Hurting the Creation of Families

Let me start by saying that I do not condone rape, and think it is one of the most heinous crimes that can be committed. Even the Book of Mormon calls rape a heinous crime:

“For behold, many of the daughters of the Lamanites have they taken prisoners; and after depriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue–” Moroni 9:9

I have daughters myself, and the last thing I would want for them is to be raped.

Since rape is such a heinous crime, I believe that it should be punished by the criminal justice system. Although not perfect, the criminal justice system it the best device we have as imperfect humans to be able to correctly convict rapists. The punishments should be severe, so we need to make sure we don’t wrongly convict innocent men.

However, colleges and university across the nation are now required hold tribunals to pass judgement on suspected rapists, and punish these rapist by not sending them to prison, but kicking them out of the university and making sure that they have a really hard time getting into another university. This is done under Title IX, which states:

 No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.

So, if schools want federal financial assistance money (grants and student loans), they must comply with Title IX. As most know, this law eventually eliminated many men’s sports at college. In the 2012 election, Barack Obama and his team noticed that he might have a difficult time winning. He needed something that would give him an edge in the election. So, looking at the demographics, he noticed that the most likely demographic group that he could persuade to vote for him were women. So, he had the media invent a “War on Women”. He marketed himself as the Women’s warrior, and marketed Republicans as women’s enemy. (Oh the horror, Republicans don’t want you to kill innocent children complete sexual freedom (oh uh) reproductive health care.)

One way to convince them that he was looking out for women, was to use Title IX to force universities to clean up their “rape culture.” Rape culture is another phenomena invented by Social Justice Warriors (SJW’s) to help women obtain “sexual freedom”. As explained by Rollo, our culture and laws are being designed to allow women to optimism their hypergamous nature.

Now I am not going to dive into the statistics on whether or not there is in fact a rape culture on campus. I think there is an “alcohol and drug culture” on campus. Unfortunately, alcohol and drugs lead both men and women to make poor choices, and when a women makes a poor choice that is considered rape by SJW’s and the law. When a man makes an equally poor choice, he is considered a rapist by SJW’s and the law. So, if you send a bunch of 18-19 year-old boys and girls to a place with very little adult supervision, provide plenty of alcohol and drugs and sure, you are going to get a lot of “rapes”. I’m not saying that when a man purposely intoxicates a girl so he can have sex with her is not a real rape. It is. However, there is a big difference between that, and two drunk people having sex only to regret it the next morning. There is an even bigger difference than physically forcing a women.

So now, Obama is forcing universities to hold trials on sexual assault cases. Instead of the criminal justice system handling the trial, you have a bunch of SJW’s doing the trial. Most trials do not allow for due process, and accused men are assumed guilty and mostly likely will get suspended from their university. Some men never get to present evidence that could exonerate them (like messages from their accuser saying they enjoyed the supposed “rape” and hoping that they can do it again.)

If you have read the news, BYU’s Title IX office and BYU’s Honor Code office are not correctly handling these trials, according to SJW’s. Girls want amnesty from receiving punishment from the honor code office if they have been sexually assaulted, no matter what honor code violations they have done. In other words, they want a get out of jail free card. It makes since, because all of this push by SJW’s is to give women “sexual freedom”. They want women to be free to enjoy any kind of sex she so desires without having to face the consequences of their actions. If this push was to really stop rapes, they would take a different approach.

If SWJ’s really wanted to stop rapes, they would be instructing men and women about the effects alcohol and drugs have on their decision making process, and let people know that by drinking irresponsibly they put themselves at risk. When rapes really occur, they would be pushing for the criminal justice system to investigate and punish the rapist, so that we would have one less rapist on the streets to rape other women. They would be focusing on the alcohol and drug culture instead of the rape culture. Instead, they just want the university to hold trials which will never put the rapist in jail, but will certainly remove due process from men.

Why all of this? So that women will no longer have to fear the consequences of their actions (see this too). Removing fear from the consequences of women’s action is one way Title IX will hurt BYU’s dating culture. Giving women a get out of jail free card will allow women to make poor choices. If fear in girls is completely removed, girls will no longer need to worry about hanging out with alpha bad boys that will get them in trouble. Want to go a sketchy party with Mr. Hunk, go ahead. If you get caught claim there was a sexual assault. Want to see bad boy’s room, go ahead, a sexual assault claim will get you out of it.

The problem is that the people pushing for amnesty for girls from the honor code either do not know or are hiding the true sexual nature of women. Women are pedataslized for having a purer sexual nature than men. They don’t really have a purer sexual nature though. They just have a stronger filter on who they will have sex with. Once someone passes their filter test, women’s sexual nature is just as “impure” as men’s. Most women do not want to admit to having “such an impure” sexual nature, and most men are brainwashed to not see it. Look around, and pay attention. Women’s true sexual nature is all over the place (in movies, songs, TV shows, and real life) and pretty easy to notice once your eyes have been opened to it. (And yes, all women are like that.)

For both men and women, fear of consequences is one way we can control our sexual urges. I don’t look at porn because I don’t want to get divorced, lose my job, and fall out of favor with God. Fear of those things help me keep the law of chastity. So what will removing fear from women accomplish? It will convince more women to put themselves in situations to get raped. It will convince women to gravitate closer to the alpha bad boys they are attracted to, instead of help them choose better beta men that are better marriage material.

The second reason Title IX hurts the dating culture is that it allows women to kick men out of the university for an “illegal lack of game”. Men can get suspended for sexual harassment as well as rape. What is sexual harassment? Unwanted attention placed upon a female. The definition of sexual harassment isn’t very clear cut. Asking a girl on a date could be considered sexual harassment, because that could be unwanted attention. Giving a girl flowers is sexual harassment, if it is unwanted. Finding a girl after her class to talk with her could be considered stalking, which is sexual harassment.

I have verified this with one of BYU’s Title IX officers. Asking a girl on a date, if unwanted, is sexual harassment.

So, if good returned missionaries listen to talks by their bishops, stake presidents, and general authorities telling them to ask girls out, they could be sexually harassing girls. No one is telling them that in order to not be a creep, you must first build attraction in a girl before asking her out, giving her flowers, or “stalking” her. If the girl is not attracted to you, then asking her on a date is sexual harassment. Be a little too creepy, and she will turn you into the Title IX office, and you will be suspended.

Once word gets around that asking a girl on a date could get you kicked out of BYU, what do you think will happen. Once men start seeing their friends get accused of sexual harassment for trying to get a date, there will be a decrease in dating and marriages.

The solution to all of this would be to remove the Title IX office, and let the criminal justice system punish rapists. (Hopefully we can also keep the police reports in the cops hands and not BYU’s.) Instruct women about their true sexual nature and how it can get them into trouble – chasing alpha bad boys leads to alcohol, drugs, sex, and even rape. Seeking sexual attention by taking nude pictures of yourself can lead to blackmail. Men are constantly lectured to control their sexual urges; women need to hear it too.

One thing is for sure, giving girls amnesty when “sexually assaulted” will just lead to more rapes and less marriages.

 

The Sin of Pedestalizing Women

I mentioned in my previous post, Living Worthy of the Boy You Will Someday Marry, that many fathers pedestalize their daughters, just for the fact that they are girls. Pedestalizing women is nothing more than creating false idols, which is obviously sinful.

Pedestalizing is damaging to both men and women. For example, “conservative christians” do not believe that women sin when they seek out abortions. So, somehow it is not okay to kill one of God’s children, but if you have a vagina, you can certainly hire someone else to kill one of God’s children. Just as David sent Bathsheba’s husband off to get slaughtered to hide his sexual sins, women send their innocent kids off to the slaughter to hide their sexual sins. Today we are to believe that just because a person has a vagina, that they can murder, but David, who has a penis, has been sent to outer darkness for doing the same thing.

The manosphere has a lot of articles about pedestalization, so I wanted to talk about it more in the context of how Mormon culture pedestalizes women, and how to not do it.

First, let’s get to the root at why men pedestalize women in the first place. Men are visual creatures, and when they see a women that is somewhat attractive, their brain releases a few chemicals (dopamine and adrenaline) that are designed to cause that man to try and mate with her. Because men have been brainwashed with blue pill principles since birth, they believe that being nice to her will increase their chances of successfully mating. Thus, they seek to pedestalize women.

Unfortunately, the hind brain or instinctual part of the brain does not differentiate whether or not mating with a women would be a good idea. The frontal lobe decides that. Therefore, when a man sees a cute girl he gets a shot of some feel good chemicals. For most men, their frontal lobe (the thinking part of the brain) kicks in and says, “Your married idiot!” and the man quickly adjusts his plans. However, he seldom adjusts his “be nice cause she’s hot” attitude.

Even girls as young as babies can cause these chemicals to get released. Having a few cute daughters, I have had several men creep me out. Seeing a grown man come up to of one of my baby daughters (10 months old) and start trying to get her attention is really weird, especially since these same man never sought for the attention of my baby sons. Even though these men are married with daughters of their own, they can’t resist a pretty little girl. Most men’s frontal lobes will quickly dismiss the thought of mating with a little girl, but that doesn’t mean the instinctual part of their brain hasn’t release any feel good chemicals. Thus, men will still try to seek out positive attention from whatever female released those chemicals.

Once the chemicals get released, men will start to act differently towards these girls. And, since girls have been getting this special treatment from men since birth, they quickly learn how to use it as a tool to get what they want. Add on the fact that in the last 30-40 years, all men have been conditioned to be good beta boys, and you get full fledge pedestalization of women. Good beta boys think that being nice to a cute girl will get them a chance to mate with her, when in reality it destroys their chances.

One thing that happens in church talks, is that men praise their wives, ie. the “she’s my better half,” or “I couldn’t have accomplished what I did without her.” When general authorities say this, I actually think they are telling the truth and that it is praise that the women well deserves. The women they married 40+ years ago were feminine in nature and supported the husband. She probably was a stay-at-home mom, who cooked and cleaned. They were also raised by a father that taught them not to gossip,to dress modestly, and how to repent and become a better person. Since most general authorities are men who have led successful lives, it goes to say that they probably made a good choice when they married as well.

However, this has a trickle down effect that causes men who didn’t marry good wives or mothers to praise them, just because they are a woman. I have seen men praise their selfish, gossiping, wife who spends all of her time on Facebook instead of taking care of the kids, hardly cooks dinner or cleans, constantly nags the husband to do stuff for her, etc. Then he gets up in testimony meeting, and pedestalizes his “glorious” wife, probably because she let him have sex with her 2 times a year in the past year.

Worse yet, pedestalization causes fathers to let their daughter get away with stuff, like dress immodestly, get unlimited access to indoctrination devices phones and social media,  etc. I have even noticed, that most girls at college have beta orbiters that do their homework for them tutor them. Every time I see a guy doing a girls homework tutoring a girl I just want yell at him “She’s not going to have sex with you, kiss you, date you, etc. She thinks you are a nerd, but knows that because she is pretty you will do just about anything for her.”

So, men need a plan to not pedestalize women. First of all, men need to realize that women will not reward your nice behavior with sex. In fact, being overly nice kills any attraction she might have had for you. It is a display of low value, if you are always bending over backwards for a women. From her point of view, you look desperate.

Secondly, you cannot avoid the chemicals that girls release in your brain whenever you see them, but you can use them to your advantage. When you see a pretty girl, enjoy the free chemical rush she gives you, then recognize what your brain is doing. Use the chemical rush to remind you what the best course of action should be. Remember, being nice works against you.

Women will never respect a man who can’t control the hormones inside his brain. Cute girls know they have power to control men’s brain with their looks, which is one reason why they dress immodestly. Dressing immodestly increases their chances of getting what they want. Just imagine what a really hot girl will think when her “special power” has no effect on you.

Hopefully, this will help you to stand up to your wife’s unreasonable requests, allow you to call women to repentance when they need it, and not let vaginas rule your life.

One last note of caution, don’t be unreasonably rude to girls just because they released some chemicals in your brain. Being mean is acting different, which still shows you are affected by her beauty. The goal should be to act indifferent, meaning your not going to give them special attention, either good or bad.

 

How I got married

I wasn’t a player in high school or college, and actually quite beta, so of course I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends. I did have a lot of friends that were girls, but of course I was the perfect guy for someone else.

So how did I end up getting married to a wonderful women? Here is the story of my relationships. I won’t be too detailed because I don’t want to identify anyone.

In high school, I asked a girl I thought was my friend to homecoming. I soon found out that she wasn’t a friend. Although she did go with me, she ditched me once we got there. I spent the next 3-4 months of my senior year in a confused daze. Why would a girl be so cruel to me. Girl can be cruel to unattractive guys, lesson learned. I don’t know why it took me 4 months to figure it out. She isn’t a member, and a quick check on Facebook showed me I really wasted my time with her. So maybe she wasn’t being too cruel after all.

I just dated for fun before my mission, so no serious relationships. However, in the process, I did learn two things. 1) Even LDS girls can be cruel to unattractive guys. Luckily, I was smart enough to only waste a few weeks on her. I also learned that asking a girl on a date who has a beta obiter will really piss off that guy. Luckily, he just blamed himself and apologized for being upset about it and told me to have fun. Lesson learned, don’t be a beta orbiter, or you will see your sweet special someone dating someone else.

After my mission, it was time to get serious and find me a wife. I ended up dating one of the first girls I asked out after my mission. Of course, I gave up all of my passions as I fell head over heals “in love.” She soon realized I wasn’t the attractive guy she thought I was and ended it, kind of. She kinda wanted to hang out with me, so she wouldn’t be bored on the weekends while she looked for someone better. She usually said it like, “I still like you, but I am not ready for a relationship.” Of course, I was stupid and wasted a good 6+ months hoping she would become ready. I was now her beta orbiter. Luckily the year came to an end, and I came to my senses and moved on. Lesson learned, girls want beta orbiters and will try to draw you in. Don’t fall for it. She either wants you, or doesn’t. If she won’t fully commit, look elsewhere.

I didn’t have another relationship for quite a while after her. I went on dates, and hung out, and learned a lot. Mostly, that there were about 3-4 guys all the girls liked, and I wasn’t one of them. My roommate was, and I learned a lot from him.

I finally started dating the perfect career girl. If the girl couldn’t fill her time with all of her homework, she actively sought for other activities to put on her graduate school applications. What a gal, she was going to save the world. Only problem is, she didn’t have much time for me. I got maybe 3 hours a week to make out with her, and hear about her “saving the world” aspirations. Lesson learned, career gals are horrible girlfriends, and probably horrible wives and mothers too. They want to impress everyone else beside their husbands and kids.

Anyway, I was really smart with her. She had that talk, where said she wasn’t ready for the relationship. I said okay, and never spoke with her again. I think she was shocked. I didn’t stick around like her other orbiters have done. The only thing I could have done better would have been to dump her. Even though I still kinda liked her when the talk happened, I knew that giving in to be her friend was going to do two things. 1) Waste my time and effort on someone who wouldn’t reciprocate. 2) Kill any chance I had on other girls in the ward. I knew it was the right choice when my very nosy roommate reported to me that her roommates thought I was being a jerk for not talking to her (or them) anymore.

I then started holding hands with a girl, and thought we were dating, until she told me that she wanted to date other people. Luckily, I quickly realized I was plan B while she looked for something better. I put an end to it pretty quickly. If a girl won’t commit, she isn’t worth it. She later wanted to date me, but I was taken. Last I heard, she is still looking for Mr. Perfect.

I had some roommates that got me into lifting weights, but I always did it pretty casually. Once I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree, I had some more free time, and started taking it really seriously. I would go for an hour a day, 5 days a week. I have a pretty skinny frame, but suddenly I started putting on muscle. I went from below average BMI to a healthy BMI by putting on 30 pounds of muscle. Unfortunately, the girls in my current ward didn’t really notice the change much.

So, I moved to a new ward, and started dating a girl from my old ward. Now that girls only knew the bigger, stronger me, and the fact that I was taken, dramatically increased my stock in the new ward. It wasn’t long until I met my wife in the new ward. I dropped the girl from my old ward, as my future wife chased after me more than any other girl in my life. (I couldn’t have been the muscles right? Girls aren’t like that, except my wife always says she likes my strong arms.)

Not too much later, we were married. I didn’t know any game, and really lucked into a great marriage. I got a wonderful girl, who loves to cook for me, is a great mother, and she can’t keep her hands off of me, especially now that I know how to “game” her. After stumbling upon some LDS Marriage boards, I feel really lucky, since most guys don’t seem to get much lovin’ from their wives, or respect for that matter.

I read those forum, and hear all of the crappy advice men are getting when they have a “sex-less” marriage. I see my LDS friends work hard all day, just to come home and cook and clean for the precious wives. They never get to work on their hobbies, have the big spare tire around their waste, and have the look. You know, the look of a man who has lost all hope. Hopefully this blog can give those men a new chance at life.

The LDS Dating Problem

I started hearing about the “you’re not getting married” problem when I was still in college, and still unmarried. I had to sit through firesides, CES Devotionals, and other special meetings telling me I was bad for not being married yet, and that I needed to “man up.” I was berated for just hanging out and not asking girls on dates.

I wasn’t ever insulted by the talks, nor do I think they did any permanent damage to me or my ego. However, I was confused by the talks. Looking back, I can now see why I was confused. The speaker assumed that we did not want to date and get married, and therefore decided try to convince us to date. Coming from a perspective that assumes that guys do not want to date, the most logical talk one would give would be a talk designed to persuade them to date and get married.

Not only does this perspective lead one to give these confusing talks, it also sends them on a wild goose chase looking for reasons why young men do not want to date (as most talks blame the young men for not asking). During this wild goose chase, they probably listen to account after account from girls talking about how they never get asked on dates. They probably also asked the young men why they didn’t ask any girls out, and got several vague responses like “there are not any girls I am interested in,” or “I am going on dates, it must be the other guys that are not going on them.”

However, I doubt the girls or the guys are being really honest answering these questions. Not that the respondents are intentionally misleading the interviewer, but the respondents probably are not completely honest with themselves. It takes some serious thought and insight for a guy to get to the real reason why he hasn’t asked out a girl for a few months, as it does for girls to think about why they haven’t been asked out.

So imagine what an interviewer would think when an attractive girl tells him that she hasn’t been asked out for a few months. He would think, the guys are lazy and stupid for not asking this really awesome girl out. It might be true that the girl hasn’t been asked on a date for a few months, however, that doesn’t mean she hasn’t received any male attention in the past few months. In fact, if she is attractive and nice, she probably has had plenty of male attention, just not from the males with whom she actually wants to go on a date.

So what is her response to all of this male attention, and why isn’t it leading to dates and finally marriages? She responds to this attention in the following ways:

  1. “Uw, get away from me you unattractive creep.”
  2. Avoids him as much as possible, and talks trash about him to all of her girlfriends. (Do you think he will have a chance at dating any of them?)
  3. Keeps him around, because it’s nice to have a guy friend. Never sees him in a romantic light. Does hang out with him (although he might actually count this as a date or a move towards a date, she doesn’t). She probably thinks he is a really nice guy, would make a great husband, for some other girl, but not her. He, of course, thinks of her every hour of every day, and if he will just be nicer to her, she will come around and they will get married. He gives the stink eye to every other guy who even remotely approaches her, and flips out if she is ever asked on a date by another guy, especially when she accepts.

So, the boys that fall into categories 1 and 2 have dug a pretty deep pit for themselves, and self-aware young men will pick up on the signals that girls give them. If they detect that a girl is not interested, they will probably not ask her out, because doing so will either get them labeled as a creep or ruin their chances with all of the other girls in that social group. Girls talk, and no girl wants to go out with the guys who have been labeled as unattractive. So, in order to not become that guy, young men will usually look elsewhere, and quietly disappear into the background to get label a “Peter Pan” boy.

Young men that fall into the third category think they are doing their part. They are going on “dates” with a girl. They go over and talk to them. Take them out to eat, and other small trips. However, the girl never sees any of this as a date, or anything romantic. It is just a couple of friends “hanging out”. It only counts as a date if she is attracted to him. She really does think he is a great guy, but as I have said before, always for another girl. Although pretty obvious to pretty much just about everyone but the boy, he doesn’t stand a chance with her. Unfortunately, no one bothers to tell him. Especially the girl because then she would lose him as a friend.

Although, there are some “Peter Pan” boys who are addicted to their video games and porn, the bigger problem is an attraction problem. Most of the time, when a boy asks out a girl, she’s not interested, and the guys the girl wants to be asked out by are not interested in her.

Dating used to work a few decades ago, so what has changed in the last few decades that has created this attraction issue? Who have changed more in the past 3-4 decades, girls or boys? Before, girls dreamed of being wives and mothers. Now they dream of having it all: careers, husbands, and kids. Before, it was only the men that really sought after careers. Now, in a lot of ways, women seek out careers more then men, at least until they can settle down with the kids.

So what does this have to do with attraction? Ask any girl if she would honestly date someone shorter than she is and the answer, unless she is over 6 feet tall, will mostly likely be no. Girls only find men attractive when they have a higher status than she does. Higher status means better looking, taller, smarter, more money, more popular, etc.

Before, most men saw their career as a means to an end – to be a good husband and father. Their career provided them with money to provide for their family and a higher status to attract and keep a wife. However, now that women are actively seeking to have it all, men can no longer rely on their career to bring them the higher status needed to attract a wife. Now he must rely on other indicators of high status – good looks, popularity, and charm (game).

Most women seek after a career for a much different reason, they want the status it brings. They have bought into the lie that their life cannot be complete without a good education and career. Being a mother isn’t enough anymore. They must be more. However, in their pursuit for a good career, they only increase their own perceived status. They do not increase their attractiveness to men. Men can care less about a women’s status. Men only care about two things, good looks and a nice personality (spirituality being included with the personality). So as women are busy increasing their status and not increasing their attractiveness, they are making their pool of attractive men smaller and smaller. Eventually, only the highest status men are attractive to a majority of the women, and those men have lots of options.

In my singles wards, and those I have observed after getting married (having worked closely with college wards and students), there are 3-4 young men actually dating, 2-3 young men that all of the girls want, and the rest of the young men.

To make matters worse, all of the young men have grown up being fed lies on what women actually find attractive. Instead of telling men that women like athletic, good looking men with status and charm (tall, dark and handsome), we tell them they like nice, sweet, young men. Young men who worship the ground that these girls walk on. Therefore we get a lot of beta orbiters, who think they are working towards a romantic relationship with a women. However, all of these young men are wasting their time and resources on some other man’s wife, if she ever manages to find a man attractive enough for her.

So what should a young man do if he really wants to get married?

  1. Find a good way to provide for your future family. One of the most unattractive qualities a man can have is being a man without a plan. Whatever you choose, be passionate about it, and don’t let any girl get in the way of achieving it.
  2. Find a hobby and be passionate about it. Don’t give it up when you start pursuing or dating a girl.  If a girl does like you, your passions and hobbies are part of it. It’s highly likely that her attraction for you will quickly fade if you give up your passion to be with her. Don’t ever let her take it from you!
  3. Get as physically attractive as possible. If your fat, get in shape. If you are skinny, lift weights and drink protein shakes. Make sure you clothes fit you well and look good.
  4. Most importantly, never ever become a beta orbiter. If she won’t commit to a relationship, move on. You have more of a chance of winning her heart dating other girls than you do pursuing her. Don’t waste your time, effort, and money on someone else’s wife! (By the way, if a girl finds you somewhat attractive but still won’t commit, try asking another girl on a date, and almost ignoring her. She thought she had you as a good back up plan while she looked for someone better. Suddenly, your gone and she just might want you back. Don’t commit to her without her full commitment to you. If she just wants to be friends, date others.)
  5. Learn game. Just search for game and manosphere. Be real careful if you have porn problems, because a lot of the advice can be pretty crude and pornographic. Stay away from all of the sex advice until you are married. Vox Day is the cleanest I have seen, but a little more complex then it needs to be. Game can really be learned in a few days reading. Applying it will take a lifetime. Don’t waste you time just reading it. You need to have plenty of time getting in shape and practicing it.

Feminism has change a lot about our society, and made our world very difficult for men and women to navigate. These problems are not arising only in the LDS church, but in all churches. Just check out some other churches‘ response to it.