Why your daughter can’t get married

Before you go and blame all of those “man children” and “peter pan boys” for the lack of suitable mates for your daughter, you should really examine what it would mean to marry your precious little princess. I know that you might be upset that your daughter will not have the happiness you want her to have, or you have now realized that you will not have a righteous posterity you thought you would have. It is easy to direct that anger towards the rational thinking young men you have insultingly called peter pan boys, instead of getting to the painful truth on why your daughter is not seen as a good marriage prospect.

She has an elevated sense of her Marriage Market Value

She’s too picky. Your daughter isn’t married is because you have told her ever since she was a little girl, that she is too good for the guys out there. You encouraged her “girl power” attitude, and told her about all of those stupid “peter pan boys.” You placed her education, popularity,  and career above marriage and family.

Since media tells girls this constantly, all it takes for her to elevate herself above all of her marriage prospects is for you to stay silent. She goes to college, and ignores the boys who actually do like her enough to marry her. She has the hots for the one or two boys all of the other girls want, and ignores all of the other ones that might actually ask her out.

Now, no matter how attractive you daughter is, she feels entitled to only the best looking men. When she tells you she hasn’t been asked out in over a year, one of two things are probably happening. 1) She has been asked out, or has been receiving attention from perfectly good guys. However, these guys are not 2-3 hottest guys in her ward, and your daughter considers herself above them. Therefore, in her mind, do not count as a date. Or 2) your daughter feels like she is so above most of the guys around her, she “tells” all of them to not approach her, with her body language and attitude. (see below).

Remember that girls will only marry up. If they think they are all that (because I’m going to be super girl), then they will think they are too good for most guys.

She is out of shape

Don’t get me wrong, there are probably plenty of guys that will date bigger girls, but as described above, they are not good enough for her. If your daughter cannot find any guys worth dating (you know the ones with jobs and their head screwed on straight) she isn’t attractive to them. Why should these guys settle for a out-of-shape girl when there are plenty of in-shape girls knocking on their door.

I know this is a sensitive topic, and having daughters myself, know how hard this can be. As fathers, we need to counter balance the media that tells girls to be stick thin. Make sure that they know that guys like bodies of all kinds, as long as they eat right and exercise. That is the honest truth. Being around a lot of youth and seeing them interact in singles wards, I have never seen girls that eat right and exercise not have guys wanting to date them, even if they have a bigger build.

Essentially, if your daughter knows how to keep her self in shape and does it, then she will be attractive to quite a few men. There are plenty of men willing to date and marry girls that are out of shape, so there are a lot more that will want to marry your daughter that is actually in shape. If you want your daughter to marry a good man, one of the best things you can do for her, is teach her how to eat right and exercise. As long as she is a pleasant girl, there will be plenty of good boys wanting to date her. As long as she doesn’t think she is too good for them, she will have lots of dates.

She’s not pleasant to be around

If your daughter is materialistic, stubborn, moody, bossy, and walks around like she is the queen of the world, she sends a message to most guys to keep away. She was a mean, bratty teenager who often had you cowering in a corner. Now you expect some guy (with a job and his head screwed on straight) to deal with her, for the rest of eternity? How many guys do you think want to live with that? Especially since they have lots of pleasant girls around them.

All of the girl power movies (see Moana), telling girls to be bossy and defiant are not doing them any favors. Although guys might like a little attitude, what they really want is a fun person to be around.

They have seen plenty of shows, that show wives nagging their husbands, putting them down, and treating them like they are stupider than their kids. They don’t want to sign up for that. Not only do these shows scare guys away from marriage, they teach girls to disrespect guys.

Now your daughter thinks being bossy will earn her a knight in shinny armor. She walks around entitled, scaring every good prospect away. But hey, it’s okay, “a real man” will know how to handle me! No thanks.

She’s career driven

Although there might be some boys willing to sign up to be Mr. Mom, career driven girls are not helping their attractiveness. They are just making themselves too important and too busy to date. Usually marrying a career driven girl means you will need to work AND be Mr. Mom while your wife if off wasting her time  saving the world in a cubicle (probably while hanging out with other men more attractive and interesting than any Mr. Mom could be.)

She Has no Nurturing Skills

Like the rest of western society, you are offended that girls should be taught to care for and nurture children. You didn’t bother to teach your daughter how to cook. (Who has time for cooking when you have a career, sports, and other girl power pursuits to think about?) She doesn’t bring anything of value to the relationship, yet you expect young men to man up and marry her.

Movies and Shows tell boys to sit down and shut up

Now this might be the boys problem, but when was the last movies that had a male hero, that didn’t need the help of a female? I mean movies like Moana, but with a boy instead of a girl. If there is one, is there a girl in the movie there to set him straight?

What do you expect when we fill young kids minds with the narrative that girls are awesome and are just being held back by evil men (ie dad’s), and boys need a girl to help them achieve anything.

The only way feminism (and Satan) can elevate women above men is by telling boys to sit down and shut up. Almost every show kids watch send a message to boys to deferrer to girls.

Since, most kid’s parents are too busy slaving away in a cubicle to send any other message, can you blame boys from just wanting to play video games and not grow up. Who are they supposed to grow up to be? A cubicle slave? A husband who gets nagged by his wife all of the time? A father who gets pushed over by his kids? Seriously, who is supposed to be their role models that they actually want to be?

That being said, there are lots of guys out their with jobs and a future. They have just been brain washed to think that they should deferrer to girls all the time, and you taught your daughter she is too good for them.

Conclusion

Before you accuse all young men of being peter pan boys hooked on porn and video games, give a good look at your daughter and think, would she be a good wife for me? Look at the shows that boys are raised on and think, would I want to sign up to be a “stupid husband nagged by his wife”?

The fact of the matter is, most young men want to marry a good looking, feminine wife. They want to be good fathers. The only role models they see are the stupid husbands on TV, and most girls are too good for them. They just want a nice, loving pleasant girl. Since there aren’t a lot of girls that fit that bill, of course they would rather play video games.

How to find a good wife

In my previous post, I discussed if Mormon Men should still consider getting married now that Marriage 2.0 is in full effect. After educating yourself on the risks you will be taking when you get married, and removing a majority of LDS girls off of your list, you might be thinking that there are not any good girls left. However, there are a few hidden gems still out there. In this post, I want to give some general advice to help you find one of the few remaining good LDS girls. Hopefully, since most young men will let the chemical rush in their brains do their picking, you will be able to use your logical brain to pick out the hidden gems.

First of all, you need to have realistic expectations; you need to know your Marriage Market Value (MMV). Knowing how valuable women see you can be painful, but useful information. If you don’t have girls chasing you down all the time, it probably isn’t too high. However, learning game and getting into good shape will definitely help. You have to play the long game here. You need time to build muscles and build a strong frame (6 months to a year). Use this time to observe gender dynamics in your ward. Who are the slutty girls and how do they act? Who are the attention seekers? Who are the 1 or 2 guys in the ward that all the girls want? What qualities do they have that create this attraction? What do guys do that causes them to crash and burn? As you learn game, you will be able to accurately predict girls reactions. Hopefully you will be able to practice overcoming the chemical rushes in your head as you interact with girls, and see them as they really are.

If you are a super alpha 10, then you might be able to attract the hottest girls around. But remember, girls always want to marry up. So if you pick a 9 you have to be a 10, and continue being a 10 even after you marry. You will have a much better chance at attracting a 7, and then make her an 8 or 9.

So after you have learned game, and improved yourself, I would look for a cute but shy girl in the 7 range. Make sure you vet her for anything that indicates she not be good wife material. Make sure she is feminine, mentally stable, not a feminist or a liberal, wants to be a stay-at-home mom, and is willing to work hard. Vet her background as much as possible. Check out her social media accounts for anything suspicious. I wouldn’t be scared of RM girls, especially now that most girls are going on a mission, but if her mission gives her some sort of feeling of superiority that could be a warning sign. If she hasn’t gone on a mission, you should probably find out why not. Is she selfish and didn’t want to give up her time to serve? Does she have medical problems (mental problems)?

Next, apply your game and attract her. Don’t just take her on standard, run of the mill, dinner and a movie dates. Hopefully, you can take her to enjoy some of your hobbies (but not your main hobby). You should have a main hobby that is too manly for her. Make sure you have a strong frame and she knows it.

Girls like to follow strong men. Even though she will be brainwashed into the feminine-primary social order, you can lead her out. Point out some observations you have noticed. Slowly teach her the red pill WITHOUT pointing her to websites. Bring up articles where women falsely accuse men of rape, point out how women at BYU want to behave bad without a consequence.  Be really slow or you might freak her out. You should see her start adopting a red pill attitude without even know what the red pill is. Remember, girls will naturally follow good strong men. If she is good marriage material, you will see her adopt your thoughts and attitudes.

So the overall plan is 1) Improve yourself and build your MMV. 2) Find a girl who doesn’t know how cute she can be. 3) Undue the feminine-primary indoctrination by leading her out. 4) She will grow in confidence, hopefully pick up your fit lifestyle and become hot. 4) Vet her like crazy for anything that shows potential marriage stopping qualities. 5) Get Engaged. 6) Vet her for symptoms of good girl syndrome. Remember it is protecting her, but make sure she can easily adopt a sex positive attitude once married. Make sure she knows that you will be having lots of sex and that she is okay with it. 7) Marry her. 8) Cure her of any remaining good girl syndrome. 8) Have kids and live a happy life.

I know it is a lot harder than it sounds. The key is picking out a girl unaware of her potential value, and then develop her into the perfect wife. Here are some good signs you are on the right track. 1) Your friends and roommates will be a little surprised you picked her to ask on a date. Not too shocked (like “Wow! you are asking the ward fattie on a date.” shocked), but more like “huh, why her?” As you progress in your relationship, your roommates will soon start to show respect and admiration for you, as they start to see how great of a girl you have gotten (or made).

There are several other strategies you can employ, and this is only one way to approach your dating life. In todays post-feminist world, this strategy could be your best bet. Good luck, and don’t get kicked out of college as you sexually harass ask a girl out.

Should Mormon Men get Married?

Dalrock has a post about Brad Wilcox’s plea for young men to step up and get married, along with the MGTOW’s response. I have been wanting to do a post about this for a while, so here are my thoughts.

Before getting married, men need to know the realities of marriage 2.0. Dalrock has a two post series about getting married in today’s new reality. You need to know the risks you are taking when you do decide to marry, and if you do decide to marry, you do need to choose wisely. I would recommend following his advice in both deciding if you do get married, and also who you should marry.

Since the LDS community is different, there are some observations that I have noticed that you should take into account.

First of all, both LDS young men and young women are still taught that sex outside of married is strictly forbidden. This is a very good thing. The chances of meeting a virgin LDS girl is much higher than meeting a non-LDS virgin girl. (Even most Christians are not virgins when they get married.) As an LDS man, I would never consider dating a non-virgin girl, let alone marrying one. This girl will have all the power of the state to destroy your life. It is not worth the risk. This especially includes divorced women. Don’t think that just because a girl is LDS means that she won’t rip your kids away from you, throw you in jail for “domestic violence”, get your temple recommend revoked, make it so you cannot get sealed to another women, etc. If you do get married, you do so at great risk. Choose wisely.

First, you should not assume that every LDS girl is a virgin. You need to investigate and make sure she is a virgin very early on in your relationship. You need to know her dating history. Did she kiss a lot of guys? Was NCMO her thing in college? Did she have a serious boyfriend all through high school? You goal is to determine how much resistance she has to her “rationalization hamster”.

All girls have a “rationalization hamster”, or a series of conscious thoughts (or temptations) that allow a girl to rationalize committing a sin. In other words, when a women’s hind brains detect that an alpha bad boy has good genes, her conscious brain starts working on a plan to make it “okay” to fornicate with him, even though she knows it is a sin. The good thing about the LDS community is that fornication and divorce are still looked down upon, and women do get shamed for doing so. Also, good LDS girls have a strong testimony and do not want to displease God. Although this leads to “good girl syndrome” when girls do get married, it does a pretty good job at keeping girls virgins until they marry, and keeping wives from straying afterwards.

However, as Mormon culture slowly adapts to the world culture, don’t be surprised to find your wife having an affair and you getting blamed by everyone for “domestic violence”. Then she uses the power of the law to toss you out of your house, the the bishop to excommunicate you, your sealing canceled, and her new boyfriend being her new “eternal companion” raising your kids while you live in a poor neighborhood slaving away to support your ex-family. Although this is the worst case scenario, it should serve as a warning on how a girl’s rationalization hamster can completely destroy your life. Your wife’s rationalization hamster can work overtime to find a way to “morally” replace you for a better man.

The best sign that a girl has weak hamster resistance is immodesty. Most girls seek out sexual attention by using their bodies. LDS girls have been taught not to be immodest. If the temptation to gain sexual attention through immodesty is to strong for a girl to resist, then she has weak hamster resistance. A lot LDS college girls I see have no problem putting on a bikini, wearing yoga pants, and otherwise be immodest to not only gain sexual attention from males, but also to show up their female “friends”. You cannot trust that an immodest girl like this will resist the many temptations she will have to cheat on you. You cannot trust her to not spend yourself into crazy debt for the best clothes, the best house, and the best car. You cannot trust her to resist the temptation to “have it all” by ditching your kids in daycare while she becomes a corporate slave. You cannot trust her to put down her indoctrination devices phone and actually pay attention to your kids, clean the house, and cook good meals.

Other signs of weak hamster resistance is exclusive dating in high school, gossiping and being mean to other girls, large amounts of debt, etc. Don’t marry psycho girls either! Check into their past mental health history. Although you probably don’t want to marry a fat girl, being fat and out of shape is also a sign of weak hamster resistance. In fact, a good way to see if a girl has weak hamster resistance is going running together. There are lots of girls (and boys too) that cannot even run a mile without stopping. Once it starts to hurt a little, they give up and start walking. If they cannot push themselves through the pain it takes to get in shape, I doubt they have the self-discipline to resist a hamster. Keep in mind, just because she can run well is not a guarantee she will make a good wife, but if she cannot run a mile, I doubt she can stay off Facebook while she is suppose to be watching your kids. Almost all of the couples in my married student ward where the wife was fat, ended up divorced.

Of course, you need to avoid all career driven girls. If you go out with a girl who does not freely talk about her desire to be a good mother, next her. If she seems more interested in her career than her dating life, next her. Career driven girls are selfish and will have little time for you, your kids, and absolutely no energy to keep up a regular sex life. Next any girl who has any career aspirations. Next any girls who hates cooking and taking care of kids. Next any girl seeking attention on social media. Next any girl who “needs to see the world” (which is really saying they will get bored with you).

Remember, your have a hind brain too. Attractive girls have the ability to shut down your logic center, and flood your brain with feel good chemicals. Don’t let this stop you from properly investigating a girl’s background, and her potential for being a good mother and wife. You do not want to marry someone who will nag you, not have sex with you, be a horrible mother, and potentially ruin your life just because she once filled your brain with feel good chemicals.

I would say though, if you do find the right girl, it is worth it. Married life is a million times better than single life. Holding your brand new son or daughter in your arms will be a moment you will never forget, along with the many other memories raising kids brings. Sharing your life with a beautiful, feminine, Godly girl that trusts you, helps you, works with you, and of course is intimate with you will bring more happiness into your life than any other way. Even if my wife tosses me aside tomorrow, I will still have all of these wonderful experiences that have enriched my life beyond anything that single life would have given me. But, it only works with the right girl.

So, what should you do if you do not find the right girl? Don’t settle! It is better to be single than married to the wrong girl. If a bishop, or parent, or anyone else nags you about getting married tell them the truth about why you are not married. Tell them you don’t want to be married to a career driven girl that doesn’t have time for you or kids. Tell them you don’t want to be married to an immodest, slutty girl. Tell them you do not want to marry a social media attention seeking whore. Tell them you do not want marry a girl who has no motherly parenting skills. Tell them you do not want to marry a fat lazy chick who’s idea of cooking is finding the nearest McDonalds. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl that cannot put forth the work it takes to make herself attractive. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl that will nag you all the time. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl that wants to spend all of your money and put you into crazy debt. Tell them you do not want to marry a girl who will only have sex with you once a year.

Flip the script on them. Everyone always assumes there are no good men left. Help them realize there are very few good women left. Help them realize that you do have the right to be choosy in whom you marry. Girls are told all the time not to settle, so boys shouldn’t either.

What if you never find a good girl to marry? Haven’t women been told that if the blessings of being married doesn’t happen in this life, that they will be blessed with the opportunity in the next? Does being a man exclude you from the same promise? I don’t think so. If you actively try to make yourself the best, most attractive man you can, and actively search for a good girl to marry and don’t find one, do you really think that God will judge you based on your sex?

If you do still want to get married, my next post describes a good strategy to take.

 

Left to Fight Satan Alone

Life’s greatest joy is raising kids. In his last talk give Elder L. Tom Perry said, “Let me close by bearing witness (and my nine decades on this earth fully qualify me to say this) that the older I get, the more I realize that family is the center of life and is the key to eternal happiness.” Satan knows this and is trying to do anything he can stop people from experiencing this great joy. So, what does he do, he convinces people not to marry young, and if they do, convinces them not to have kids until the wife is no longer fertile. If they do have kids, Satan convinces parents to outsource raising the kids to people in his control, so he can indoctrinate the kids to not repeat the “mistakes” of the parents.

I plan on discussing how both genders are being tricked into giving up the key to eternal happiness, but in this post I will focus on women. Satan tricks women into giving up motherhood by convincing girls that “just being a mother is not enough.” Watch any talent/singing competition show (American Idol, The Voice, etc) and pay attention to the introduction given by mothers and fathers. Fathers will mostly talk about how they are working hard to support their kids, and that they need a break so they can have more time and money to support their family. They dream to take care of their kids. Mothers (and especially single mothers) will alway talk about how their little brat sweetie got in the way of fulling their dreams, how much that brat kid messed up their life, and now it is their turn to toss the brat aside follow their dreams. They dream to get away from their kids.

Having women seek after careers is nothing more that a tool Satan uses to weaken families, and it works on all levels. Girls are indoctrinated ever since they got to school that in order to be someone, they need to have a career. They come home to do their homework, and are told by parents that they need to get good grades that will lead to a good career. This indoctrination trickles up to even stay-at-home mothers, who are constantly told they cannot be happy by “just being a stay-at-home mom.” Stay-at-home moms are constantly bombarded with messages that they are not enough, that they need to become something else. Thus, they give up life’s greatest joy for a life of corporate servitude. A lot of moms can’t wait for their little brats ones to be old enough to get indoctrinate by Satan’s minions go to school, so they can finally pursue their enslavement career and make something out of themselves.

Of course, feminists try to calm the mother’s fears with studies that prove that homes with two working parents actually raise better kids. It is important to keep in mind who conducted these studies, women who want validation that they made the right choice by ditching their kids. You also have to look into the conclusions of these studies. Did the study prove that the kids were really happier? Did the study prove that the kids were more likely to believe in the values of the parents? Did the study show that mom’s were happier leaving their kids for a career?

For example, this study says that the amount of time a mom spends with her kids has no affect on a child’s “emotional well being” or a child’s academic achievement. But what is a child’s emotional well being, and does being emotionally well off and academically successful really translate into that child having a good, happy life AND leading the child to gain eternal salvation? Isn’t that your goal? The study never tested that.

So what do women do? They leave their kids to be raised by others. Fathers are also guilty of this. Kids are being left to fight Satan alone. They come home from school to a house without parents. They watch TV, look at porn, do drugs, have sex, etc., all while mom and dad are off being corporate slaves.

Most parents know, deep down, that they are not getting enough time with their kids. I don’t know how many broken hearted mother’s I have seen as they leave their six-week old babies in child care after their maternity leave is over. They know deep down it is wrong, and they have to convince themselves that what they are doing is really what’s best for their little one. But once again who are you going to trust, your gut (ie. the spirit), or a bunch of studies by feminists.

Even after all the kids have entered indoctrination camp school, mothers (and fathers) still need to be present, especially after school when kids get into the most trouble. It’s amazing to see that parents are so shocked that their kids don’t believe in the church anymore. Asking a few questions, and you will find out that the kids had unfiltered and unlimited internet access where he or she has been looking at porn, reading anti-mormon web sites, and chatting with ex-mormons.

I know that being an involved parent doesn’t guarantee that your kids will stay true to the church, but letting your kids watch porn and read anti-mormon literature is pretty much a guarantee that your kid will not stay true. An involved parent would know what their kids are doing online, and then can help kids find balanced information about the church, help their kids navigate the web without becoming addicted to porn, and help their kids find the truth.

Too many mothers make themselves so busy with other tasks that they checkout from their kids. Being a mom is hard work, and letting your kid do whatever he or she wants is a lot easier to do. When mothers put most of their effort into corporate enslavement, they have little left to give their kids.

So stay-at-home moms, keep up the hard work. Fathers, make sure your kids have a parent at home. And working moms that read this are probably coming up with a bunch of rationalizations or studies to refute what I just said. But deep down, you know your not giving your kids everything they deserve, and you feel guilty for it (as you should). Most will probably use their guilt as motivation to attack me, or rationalize their choices. But when your kids go off the deep end, you will always wonder, “Did I fulfill my God given duty to care for and nurture my kids?”

When young men go about to pick a wife, they need to know that their kids will have a mother who will put her kids as a priority, not her career. Young women who do not learn to cook, sew, and take care of little ones will not make good wives. Avoid them at all costs. Do you really want a wife that is too busy for her kids? If she is too busy for her kids, she will be way too busy for you. Imagine laying down every night next to this career driven women, dreaming about her smoking hot bod, but never being able to touch it, cause she’s too tired and stressed. Talk about a life of torture. If you don’t believe me, just look at all of the marriage forums (LDS and not) that are filled with frustrated chumps who never get to touch their wives.

 

The Sin of Pedestalizing Women

I mentioned in my previous post, Living Worthy of the Boy You Will Someday Marry, that many fathers pedestalize their daughters, just for the fact that they are girls. Pedestalizing women is nothing more than creating false idols, which is obviously sinful.

Pedestalizing is damaging to both men and women. For example, “conservative christians” do not believe that women sin when they seek out abortions. So, somehow it is not okay to kill one of God’s children, but if you have a vagina, you can certainly hire someone else to kill one of God’s children. Just as David sent Bathsheba’s husband off to get slaughtered to hide his sexual sins, women send their innocent kids off to the slaughter to hide their sexual sins. Today we are to believe that just because a person has a vagina, that they can murder, but David, who has a penis, has been sent to outer darkness for doing the same thing.

The manosphere has a lot of articles about pedestalization, so I wanted to talk about it more in the context of how Mormon culture pedestalizes women, and how to not do it.

First, let’s get to the root at why men pedestalize women in the first place. Men are visual creatures, and when they see a women that is somewhat attractive, their brain releases a few chemicals (dopamine and adrenaline) that are designed to cause that man to try and mate with her. Because men have been brainwashed with blue pill principles since birth, they believe that being nice to her will increase their chances of successfully mating. Thus, they seek to pedestalize women.

Unfortunately, the hind brain or instinctual part of the brain does not differentiate whether or not mating with a women would be a good idea. The frontal lobe decides that. Therefore, when a man sees a cute girl he gets a shot of some feel good chemicals. For most men, their frontal lobe (the thinking part of the brain) kicks in and says, “Your married idiot!” and the man quickly adjusts his plans. However, he seldom adjusts his “be nice cause she’s hot” attitude.

Even girls as young as babies can cause these chemicals to get released. Having a few cute daughters, I have had several men creep me out. Seeing a grown man come up to of one of my baby daughters (10 months old) and start trying to get her attention is really weird, especially since these same man never sought for the attention of my baby sons. Even though these men are married with daughters of their own, they can’t resist a pretty little girl. Most men’s frontal lobes will quickly dismiss the thought of mating with a little girl, but that doesn’t mean the instinctual part of their brain hasn’t release any feel good chemicals. Thus, men will still try to seek out positive attention from whatever female released those chemicals.

Once the chemicals get released, men will start to act differently towards these girls. And, since girls have been getting this special treatment from men since birth, they quickly learn how to use it as a tool to get what they want. Add on the fact that in the last 30-40 years, all men have been conditioned to be good beta boys, and you get full fledge pedestalization of women. Good beta boys think that being nice to a cute girl will get them a chance to mate with her, when in reality it destroys their chances.

One thing that happens in church talks, is that men praise their wives, ie. the “she’s my better half,” or “I couldn’t have accomplished what I did without her.” When general authorities say this, I actually think they are telling the truth and that it is praise that the women well deserves. The women they married 40+ years ago were feminine in nature and supported the husband. She probably was a stay-at-home mom, who cooked and cleaned. They were also raised by a father that taught them not to gossip,to dress modestly, and how to repent and become a better person. Since most general authorities are men who have led successful lives, it goes to say that they probably made a good choice when they married as well.

However, this has a trickle down effect that causes men who didn’t marry good wives or mothers to praise them, just because they are a woman. I have seen men praise their selfish, gossiping, wife who spends all of her time on Facebook instead of taking care of the kids, hardly cooks dinner or cleans, constantly nags the husband to do stuff for her, etc. Then he gets up in testimony meeting, and pedestalizes his “glorious” wife, probably because she let him have sex with her 2 times a year in the past year.

Worse yet, pedestalization causes fathers to let their daughter get away with stuff, like dress immodestly, get unlimited access to indoctrination devices phones and social media,  etc. I have even noticed, that most girls at college have beta orbiters that do their homework for them tutor them. Every time I see a guy doing a girls homework tutoring a girl I just want yell at him “She’s not going to have sex with you, kiss you, date you, etc. She thinks you are a nerd, but knows that because she is pretty you will do just about anything for her.”

So, men need a plan to not pedestalize women. First of all, men need to realize that women will not reward your nice behavior with sex. In fact, being overly nice kills any attraction she might have had for you. It is a display of low value, if you are always bending over backwards for a women. From her point of view, you look desperate.

Secondly, you cannot avoid the chemicals that girls release in your brain whenever you see them, but you can use them to your advantage. When you see a pretty girl, enjoy the free chemical rush she gives you, then recognize what your brain is doing. Use the chemical rush to remind you what the best course of action should be. Remember, being nice works against you.

Women will never respect a man who can’t control the hormones inside his brain. Cute girls know they have power to control men’s brain with their looks, which is one reason why they dress immodestly. Dressing immodestly increases their chances of getting what they want. Just imagine what a really hot girl will think when her “special power” has no effect on you.

Hopefully, this will help you to stand up to your wife’s unreasonable requests, allow you to call women to repentance when they need it, and not let vaginas rule your life.

One last note of caution, don’t be unreasonably rude to girls just because they released some chemicals in your brain. Being mean is acting different, which still shows you are affected by her beauty. The goal should be to act indifferent, meaning your not going to give them special attention, either good or bad.

 

Problems in the LDS Marriage Bed

One of the main motivators for me to write this blog is that I have seen a lot of comments online from LDS men who are frustrated with the amount and quality of their married sex life. It is hard to see the amount of pain and discomfort this causes them. Not only that,  I have seen the happiness that a fulfilling sexual relationship can bring to a couple. I find it really unfortunate that many couples never achieve that happiness, and that sex becomes a source of stress and pain in a marriage.

So, what should a man do if his wife doesn’t want to have sex with him, or if the quality of sex he has with his wife isn’t that great. (Judging from LDS message board, there are probably a lot of men just like you, so you don’t have to feel alone.) Unfortunately, if you married a girl that isn’t attracted to you, there might not be a solution. However, I do think most LDS couples that marry, were attracted to each other at the beginning of their relationship. So, if that is the case, then there is hope for you.

So now is the time to get blunt with you (and this is written for men). Imagine getting excited about having sex with the most unattractive girl you have ever seen. I am talking about a mean, nasty, fat girl with short hair and unshaven legs and armpits. Would you be excited about having sex with her? Probably not.

That is probably why your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you. She isn’t attracted to you physically. Women have a biological filter that screens every potential mate to make sure his genes will produce good offspring. Men have a filter too, but because sperm is cheep, you can afford to mate with less than perfect women. The best available women at the time will usually work. Since a women is stuck for at least 9 months (but more like 20 years), her filter needs to be really strong. If you can’t get past her filter, sex is either a no go, or sex will be boring with your wife wishing it would get over as soon as possible. Also, just because you past her filter in the past doesn’t mean you will pass it now. You are always being re-evaluated.

So, in short, you need to make yourself more attractive to her. Just google Athol Kay (only if you are married and don’t have a porn problem), and get the advice you need. Yes, it means working out, getting in shape, and becoming a better man. You need to become the head of the house, take care of the finances, and wear the pants. Yes, you will need to stand up to your wife, and tell her no when she makes unreasonable requests. It will take time (a year or two), but you can change and become a man who will routinely pass her filter.

Athol Kay is a much better expert at making yourself attractive than I am or ever could be. Plus, I only know my wife, so I am not pretending to be some great sex expert. So, you will have to get most of your advice from him (or other sources).

Every time I read an online forum post where the man complains about his lack of sex life, I never see good responses. Some responses actually make the situation worse. “Just do more dishes and she will suddenly be so turned on,” is almost a sure way to suck any last remaining attraction she had for you out. I just want to yell, “YOUR WIFE DOESN’T THINK YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE.” Becoming attractive will solve a lot of the problems.

However, in LDS marriages there are some differences in how you go about your approach. Not only do LDS girls have the same filter all women do, they also have probably have “good girl syndrome.” So, while you work on building your attractiveness, you need to work on breaking down her good girl syndrome. I can recommend two books that can help.

  1. The 5 Love Languages. This is for both of you. While you may feel like your lack of sex is the main problem, your main frustration is that you don’t feel loved. Sex (and good quality sex), go a long ways in helping a man feel loved. By helping your wife realize that sex is a tool build love, hopefully the “sex is bad” programming she received growing up in the church and will be replaced with a “sex is good” mindset. This is a good book to start with because it isn’t about sex. It is about having a better relationship and building love. Some LDS women will automatically shut down whenever sex is brought up. This is a good way to introduce the topic in a positive way. If your wife won’t read a book about building a better relationship than, I hate to say it, you really married a horrible person.
  2. The next book is And They were not Ashamed. This will really get into good girl syndrome, and help your wife clear up any reservations she might have with sex.

However, you really need to time the book right and take it with the right approach. If you bring the 5 Love Languages book to your wife with a sad, beaten down face begging for sex, you will dry out your wife’s nether regions pretty darn fast.  You need to build attraction first. Get in shape first, build attraction in your wife, and then present the book. Patience is key. If you can figure out a way to make it your wife’s idea, even better.

This might be a good approach, but you will have to adjust it to your personality and situation. After you have built up some attraction in your wife, play a little “neg game.” Talk about how you have been married for X number of years, and how you have always heard people’s love grows. Then very aloofly mention that your surprised because there seems to be a little bit of a distance between you. You want to make it seem like it is just an observation, not something that bothers you or that you have even thought of before. Mention that maybe it is life stressors that is causing it. Then leave (make sure your wife knows that you were planning on leaving before the conversation) and go do something manly. If done right, your wife’s subconscious is thinking,  “he’s different and pretty attractive, but wait, he said their is some distance between us. What’s going on? Is he not happy.  What did I do?” If you have been making changes in your life, your wife probably has noticed and is already a little confused. This little conversation is going to really throw your wife through a loop. And guess what, you won’t be there to calm her down or reassure her that she is “your special snowflake”. It will dwell with her and bug her until she can talk to you again. The longer she has to wait the better (maybe even over night). When she brings it up again, act aloof, and then mention the book as a way to help bring you closer. She has probably heard of it before, and you might have already read it together. If so, you can still read or review it.

Keep your frame while reading the book. Stay aloof, and try to make her be the main driver in reading the book. Then mention that maybe the distance between you is caused by a your lack of a sex life, but don’t be all pouty about it. Just say it matter of factly. (Right after you say it is a good time to leave again and do something manly.) That will lead her to wanting to improve that part of the relationship. Which will hopefully lead to the next book. Remember to keep your improvement plan in place throughout the process and maintain your frame.

Now for some advice to help you get started with your plan. When you get home, corner your wife and kiss her. Try to make the kiss last at least 10 seconds. If she pulls away before 10 seconds say, “What, you don’t have 10 seconds for a proper kiss?” with a goofy smile on your face.  Kiss her again, at the end give her butt a good pinch followed by a good smack. Then go somewhere else, and go about your business.

How I got married

I wasn’t a player in high school or college, and actually quite beta, so of course I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends. I did have a lot of friends that were girls, but of course I was the perfect guy for someone else.

So how did I end up getting married to a wonderful women? Here is the story of my relationships. I won’t be too detailed because I don’t want to identify anyone.

In high school, I asked a girl I thought was my friend to homecoming. I soon found out that she wasn’t a friend. Although she did go with me, she ditched me once we got there. I spent the next 3-4 months of my senior year in a confused daze. Why would a girl be so cruel to me. Girl can be cruel to unattractive guys, lesson learned. I don’t know why it took me 4 months to figure it out. She isn’t a member, and a quick check on Facebook showed me I really wasted my time with her. So maybe she wasn’t being too cruel after all.

I just dated for fun before my mission, so no serious relationships. However, in the process, I did learn two things. 1) Even LDS girls can be cruel to unattractive guys. Luckily, I was smart enough to only waste a few weeks on her. I also learned that asking a girl on a date who has a beta obiter will really piss off that guy. Luckily, he just blamed himself and apologized for being upset about it and told me to have fun. Lesson learned, don’t be a beta orbiter, or you will see your sweet special someone dating someone else.

After my mission, it was time to get serious and find me a wife. I ended up dating one of the first girls I asked out after my mission. Of course, I gave up all of my passions as I fell head over heals “in love.” She soon realized I wasn’t the attractive guy she thought I was and ended it, kind of. She kinda wanted to hang out with me, so she wouldn’t be bored on the weekends while she looked for someone better. She usually said it like, “I still like you, but I am not ready for a relationship.” Of course, I was stupid and wasted a good 6+ months hoping she would become ready. I was now her beta orbiter. Luckily the year came to an end, and I came to my senses and moved on. Lesson learned, girls want beta orbiters and will try to draw you in. Don’t fall for it. She either wants you, or doesn’t. If she won’t fully commit, look elsewhere.

I didn’t have another relationship for quite a while after her. I went on dates, and hung out, and learned a lot. Mostly, that there were about 3-4 guys all the girls liked, and I wasn’t one of them. My roommate was, and I learned a lot from him.

I finally started dating the perfect career girl. If the girl couldn’t fill her time with all of her homework, she actively sought for other activities to put on her graduate school applications. What a gal, she was going to save the world. Only problem is, she didn’t have much time for me. I got maybe 3 hours a week to make out with her, and hear about her “saving the world” aspirations. Lesson learned, career gals are horrible girlfriends, and probably horrible wives and mothers too. They want to impress everyone else beside their husbands and kids.

Anyway, I was really smart with her. She had that talk, where said she wasn’t ready for the relationship. I said okay, and never spoke with her again. I think she was shocked. I didn’t stick around like her other orbiters have done. The only thing I could have done better would have been to dump her. Even though I still kinda liked her when the talk happened, I knew that giving in to be her friend was going to do two things. 1) Waste my time and effort on someone who wouldn’t reciprocate. 2) Kill any chance I had on other girls in the ward. I knew it was the right choice when my very nosy roommate reported to me that her roommates thought I was being a jerk for not talking to her (or them) anymore.

I then started holding hands with a girl, and thought we were dating, until she told me that she wanted to date other people. Luckily, I quickly realized I was plan B while she looked for something better. I put an end to it pretty quickly. If a girl won’t commit, she isn’t worth it. She later wanted to date me, but I was taken. Last I heard, she is still looking for Mr. Perfect.

I had some roommates that got me into lifting weights, but I always did it pretty casually. Once I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree, I had some more free time, and started taking it really seriously. I would go for an hour a day, 5 days a week. I have a pretty skinny frame, but suddenly I started putting on muscle. I went from below average BMI to a healthy BMI by putting on 30 pounds of muscle. Unfortunately, the girls in my current ward didn’t really notice the change much.

So, I moved to a new ward, and started dating a girl from my old ward. Now that girls only knew the bigger, stronger me, and the fact that I was taken, dramatically increased my stock in the new ward. It wasn’t long until I met my wife in the new ward. I dropped the girl from my old ward, as my future wife chased after me more than any other girl in my life. (I couldn’t have been the muscles right? Girls aren’t like that, except my wife always says she likes my strong arms.)

Not too much later, we were married. I didn’t know any game, and really lucked into a great marriage. I got a wonderful girl, who loves to cook for me, is a great mother, and she can’t keep her hands off of me, especially now that I know how to “game” her. After stumbling upon some LDS Marriage boards, I feel really lucky, since most guys don’t seem to get much lovin’ from their wives, or respect for that matter.

I read those forum, and hear all of the crappy advice men are getting when they have a “sex-less” marriage. I see my LDS friends work hard all day, just to come home and cook and clean for the precious wives. They never get to work on their hobbies, have the big spare tire around their waste, and have the look. You know, the look of a man who has lost all hope. Hopefully this blog can give those men a new chance at life.