How Title IX is Hurting the Creation of Families

Let me start by saying that I do not condone rape, and think it is one of the most heinous crimes that can be committed. Even the Book of Mormon calls rape a heinous crime:

“For behold, many of the daughters of the Lamanites have they taken prisoners; and after depriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue–” Moroni 9:9

I have daughters myself, and the last thing I would want for them is to be raped.

Since rape is such a heinous crime, I believe that it should be punished by the criminal justice system. Although not perfect, the criminal justice system it the best device we have as imperfect humans to be able to correctly convict rapists. The punishments should be severe, so we need to make sure we don’t wrongly convict innocent men.

However, colleges and university across the nation are now required hold tribunals to pass judgement on suspected rapists, and punish these rapist by not sending them to prison, but kicking them out of the university and making sure that they have a really hard time getting into another university. This is done under Title IX, which states:

 No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.

So, if schools want federal financial assistance money (grants and student loans), they must comply with Title IX. As most know, this law eventually eliminated many men’s sports at college. In the 2012 election, Barack Obama and his team noticed that he might have a difficult time winning. He needed something that would give him an edge in the election. So, looking at the demographics, he noticed that the most likely demographic group that he could persuade to vote for him were women. So, he had the media invent a “War on Women”. He marketed himself as the Women’s warrior, and marketed Republicans as women’s enemy. (Oh the horror, Republicans don’t want you to kill innocent children complete sexual freedom (oh uh) reproductive health care.)

One way to convince them that he was looking out for women, was to use Title IX to force universities to clean up their “rape culture.” Rape culture is another phenomena invented by Social Justice Warriors (SJW’s) to help women obtain “sexual freedom”. As explained by Rollo, our culture and laws are being designed to allow women to optimism their hypergamous nature.

Now I am not going to dive into the statistics on whether or not there is in fact a rape culture on campus. I think there is an “alcohol and drug culture” on campus. Unfortunately, alcohol and drugs lead both men and women to make poor choices, and when a women makes a poor choice that is considered rape by SJW’s and the law. When a man makes an equally poor choice, he is considered a rapist by SJW’s and the law. So, if you send a bunch of 18-19 year-old boys and girls to a place with very little adult supervision, provide plenty of alcohol and drugs and sure, you are going to get a lot of “rapes”. I’m not saying that when a man purposely intoxicates a girl so he can have sex with her is not a real rape. It is. However, there is a big difference between that, and two drunk people having sex only to regret it the next morning. There is an even bigger difference than physically forcing a women.

So now, Obama is forcing universities to hold trials on sexual assault cases. Instead of the criminal justice system handling the trial, you have a bunch of SJW’s doing the trial. Most trials do not allow for due process, and accused men are assumed guilty and mostly likely will get suspended from their university. Some men never get to present evidence that could exonerate them (like messages from their accuser saying they enjoyed the supposed “rape” and hoping that they can do it again.)

If you have read the news, BYU’s Title IX office and BYU’s Honor Code office are not correctly handling these trials, according to SJW’s. Girls want amnesty from receiving punishment from the honor code office if they have been sexually assaulted, no matter what honor code violations they have done. In other words, they want a get out of jail free card. It makes since, because all of this push by SJW’s is to give women “sexual freedom”. They want women to be free to enjoy any kind of sex she so desires without having to face the consequences of their actions. If this push was to really stop rapes, they would take a different approach.

If SWJ’s really wanted to stop rapes, they would be instructing men and women about the effects alcohol and drugs have on their decision making process, and let people know that by drinking irresponsibly they put themselves at risk. When rapes really occur, they would be pushing for the criminal justice system to investigate and punish the rapist, so that we would have one less rapist on the streets to rape other women. They would be focusing on the alcohol and drug culture instead of the rape culture. Instead, they just want the university to hold trials which will never put the rapist in jail, but will certainly remove due process from men.

Why all of this? So that women will no longer have to fear the consequences of their actions (see this too). Removing fear from the consequences of women’s action is one way Title IX will hurt BYU’s dating culture. Giving women a get out of jail free card will allow women to make poor choices. If fear in girls is completely removed, girls will no longer need to worry about hanging out with alpha bad boys that will get them in trouble. Want to go a sketchy party with Mr. Hunk, go ahead. If you get caught claim there was a sexual assault. Want to see bad boy’s room, go ahead, a sexual assault claim will get you out of it.

The problem is that the people pushing for amnesty for girls from the honor code either do not know or are hiding the true sexual nature of women. Women are pedataslized for having a purer sexual nature than men. They don’t really have a purer sexual nature though. They just have a stronger filter on who they will have sex with. Once someone passes their filter test, women’s sexual nature is just as “impure” as men’s. Most women do not want to admit to having “such an impure” sexual nature, and most men are brainwashed to not see it. Look around, and pay attention. Women’s true sexual nature is all over the place (in movies, songs, TV shows, and real life) and pretty easy to notice once your eyes have been opened to it. (And yes, all women are like that.)

For both men and women, fear of consequences is one way we can control our sexual urges. I don’t look at porn because I don’t want to get divorced, lose my job, and fall out of favor with God. Fear of those things help me keep the law of chastity. So what will removing fear from women accomplish? It will convince more women to put themselves in situations to get raped. It will convince women to gravitate closer to the alpha bad boys they are attracted to, instead of help them choose better beta men that are better marriage material.

The second reason Title IX hurts the dating culture is that it allows women to kick men out of the university for an “illegal lack of game”. Men can get suspended for sexual harassment as well as rape. What is sexual harassment? Unwanted attention placed upon a female. The definition of sexual harassment isn’t very clear cut. Asking a girl on a date could be considered sexual harassment, because that could be unwanted attention. Giving a girl flowers is sexual harassment, if it is unwanted. Finding a girl after her class to talk with her could be considered stalking, which is sexual harassment.

I have verified this with one of BYU’s Title IX officers. Asking a girl on a date, if unwanted, is sexual harassment.

So, if good returned missionaries listen to talks by their bishops, stake presidents, and general authorities telling them to ask girls out, they could be sexually harassing girls. No one is telling them that in order to not be a creep, you must first build attraction in a girl before asking her out, giving her flowers, or “stalking” her. If the girl is not attracted to you, then asking her on a date is sexual harassment. Be a little too creepy, and she will turn you into the Title IX office, and you will be suspended.

Once word gets around that asking a girl on a date could get you kicked out of BYU, what do you think will happen. Once men start seeing their friends get accused of sexual harassment for trying to get a date, there will be a decrease in dating and marriages.

The solution to all of this would be to remove the Title IX office, and let the criminal justice system punish rapists. (Hopefully we can also keep the police reports in the cops hands and not BYU’s.) Instruct women about their true sexual nature and how it can get them into trouble – chasing alpha bad boys leads to alcohol, drugs, sex, and even rape. Seeking sexual attention by taking nude pictures of yourself can lead to blackmail. Men are constantly lectured to control their sexual urges; women need to hear it too.

One thing is for sure, giving girls amnesty when “sexually assaulted” will just lead to more rapes and less marriages.



Trading your Birthright for a Bowl of Porridge

“Let me close by bearing witness (and my nine decades on this earth fully qualify me to say this) that the older I get, the more I realize that family is the center of life and is the key to eternal happiness.” – L. Tom Perry (In his last talk, before he passed away.)

I know I have quoted this before, but I wanted to make a post about it. Since Satan wants us to be miserable like he is, he is working on making sure that family is not the center of anyone’s life. So, he convinces us to trade our birthright (family happiness) for a bowl of porridge (our career). Unfortunately, somewhere a non-scriptural doctrine got introduced into Mormon culture that says that you need to “work hard” to get to the Celestial Kingdom. Where is that in the scriptures? It wasn’t one of Christ’s main doctrines.

Now, I am not saying that you should be lazy, nor that you shouldn’t work hard, but who are you working hard for? And, are you really working hard? Just because you put in long hours at the office doesn’t mean you are working hard. In fact, putting in long hours at the office is probably trying to avoid the “hard work” of raising kids and dealing with women.

I have lots of co-workers who really believe in “hard work”. One, for example, loves to pride himself on how many hours he puts in the office. Of course, when you go into his office to talk to him, you see his browser open with 20-30 different tabs of ESPN, CNN, FOX News, and other waste of time sites. Unfortunately, he never had time for his daughter. When his daughter was around 10 years old, my wife worked with her. She talked about how she never saw her dad, and that her mom didn’t get home until 5 or 6, and that she was pretty lonely after school. Needless to say, as a teenager she got sent off to live with someone else for 8 months. Not just one time, but twice. (And if you don’t get it, that is the amount of time a girl would want to hide her pregnancy.) Oh, did I mention she had a drug problem too?

Anyway, this co-worker is quite a bit older than me, so when I first met him, I used to look up to him. But, as I got to know him better, I started to see how miserable this man truly is. Sure, he’s been in stake presidencies, and in high up positions at work (something he prides himself in), but none of that made him happy. Of all of his kids, he only has one that will produce any posterity in the church. If that wasn’t enough, he still tries to shame me for refusing to work as hard as he does.

Now, did my co-worker really work hard? He was so overweight that he blew out both of his knees and hips. One thing I do give him credit for is actually losing the weight, but the damage has been done. He has lots of praise from his career, but it is pretty easy to tell that he used his career as a way to avoid the hard work of raising his kids and dealing with his wife. On Saturday, he was in his office. On Sunday, he was holding church meetings. On evenings, he was in his office. On early mornings, he was in his office. I doubt that, besides vacations, he really interacted much with his kids. He was too fat to play ball with them, taking them to a water park, or even to the mall, was probably exhausting for him.

So, now all of his kids are out of the house, all he has to show for his life is his “career accomplishments”. If that doesn’t sound like trading his birthright for a bowl of porridge, I don’t know what is. My wife and a few of my co-worker’s wives got together once, and all of the wives started bragging about how many hours their husbands put in at the office. Guess who lost. That’s right, me. Instead of bragging about how much time you put in at the office, brag about how much time you spend enjoying your birthright.

So, how do you manage to get a job that supports a family and gives you time to be with them?

  1. Choose a career that is actually worth something (and hopefully something you can enjoy). You are much more likely to get paid more when you are accomplishing something people actually need. There are a lot of worthless people in the corporate world who think they are really important. But if they just disappeared one day, how many people would notice?
  2. Don’t strive to clime the corporate ladder. Do you really want to be a manager, who has even more time wasting meetings and BS to deal with? Just do your job really well. Hopefully, your company will see your value and keep you where you can be at your best.
  3. Make sure the job includes flex-time. You should be able to re-arrange your hours so you can spend more time with your kids. You will be more productive that way. Any company that doesn’t allow this is probably mismanaged and not worth wasting your time working for.
  4. Live within your means, which will mean telling your wife that you don’t need a bigger house, or a newer car. You should be managing the budget. If not, grow a pair and take over. FYI, nothing says loser (and unattractive husband) more than being in debt. Married men in large amounts of debt don’t get a lot of sexual attention from their wives. Thrifty men, with a well followed budget who aren’t afraid to tell their wives “no” do.

If you are working long hours, you’re probably miserable. You better have a plan to get more time off. Life is too short to dedicate most of your waking hours just to become a cubicle slave. (And to think that Satan and his feminist minions have convinced almost all women that being anything less than a cubicle slave is worthless.) Think about it, when you are 10 years past retirement, are your career achievements really going to mean that much to you?

Hopefully, as you’re getting old and lonely, you will have a lifetime of full of memories with your wife and kids. What could be better? Don’t let Satan trick you into working even an hour more than you need to. It won’t pay off. But an hour with your kids, playing ball, or swimming, or even playing video games, now that is worth it. An hour sitting next to your wife talking about the joys of life, now that is worth it. An hour being intimate wife your wife, now that is worth it. If you have put in more that 8 hours a day working, even if you have the time to be with your family, you’re probably too tired to make the most of it.

If your not there, the time to change is now! It’s time to stop working hard, and start working smart, that way you can play hard with your family.


Left to Fight Satan Alone

Life’s greatest joy is raising kids. In his last talk give Elder L. Tom Perry said, “Let me close by bearing witness (and my nine decades on this earth fully qualify me to say this) that the older I get, the more I realize that family is the center of life and is the key to eternal happiness.” Satan knows this and is trying to do anything he can stop people from experiencing this great joy. So, what does he do, he convinces people not to marry young, and if they do, convinces them not to have kids until the wife is no longer fertile. If they do have kids, Satan convinces parents to outsource raising the kids to people in his control, so he can indoctrinate the kids to not repeat the “mistakes” of the parents.

I plan on discussing how both genders are being tricked into giving up the key to eternal happiness, but in this post I will focus on women. Satan tricks women into giving up motherhood by convincing girls that “just being a mother is not enough.” Watch any talent/singing competition show (American Idol, The Voice, etc) and pay attention to the introduction given by mothers and fathers. Fathers will mostly talk about how they are working hard to support their kids, and that they need a break so they can have more time and money to support their family. They dream to take care of their kids. Mothers (and especially single mothers) will alway talk about how their little brat sweetie got in the way of fulling their dreams, how much that brat kid messed up their life, and now it is their turn to toss the brat aside follow their dreams. They dream to get away from their kids.

Having women seek after careers is nothing more that a tool Satan uses to weaken families, and it works on all levels. Girls are indoctrinated ever since they got to school that in order to be someone, they need to have a career. They come home to do their homework, and are told by parents that they need to get good grades that will lead to a good career. This indoctrination trickles up to even stay-at-home mothers, who are constantly told they cannot be happy by “just being a stay-at-home mom.” Stay-at-home moms are constantly bombarded with messages that they are not enough, that they need to become something else. Thus, they give up life’s greatest joy for a life of corporate servitude. A lot of moms can’t wait for their little brats ones to be old enough to get indoctrinate by Satan’s minions go to school, so they can finally pursue their enslavement career and make something out of themselves.

Of course, feminists try to calm the mother’s fears with studies that prove that homes with two working parents actually raise better kids. It is important to keep in mind who conducted these studies, women who want validation that they made the right choice by ditching their kids. You also have to look into the conclusions of these studies. Did the study prove that the kids were really happier? Did the study prove that the kids were more likely to believe in the values of the parents? Did the study show that mom’s were happier leaving their kids for a career?

For example, this study says that the amount of time a mom spends with her kids has no affect on a child’s “emotional well being” or a child’s academic achievement. But what is a child’s emotional well being, and does being emotionally well off and academically successful really translate into that child having a good, happy life AND leading the child to gain eternal salvation? Isn’t that your goal? The study never tested that.

So what do women do? They leave their kids to be raised by others. Fathers are also guilty of this. Kids are being left to fight Satan alone. They come home from school to a house without parents. They watch TV, look at porn, do drugs, have sex, etc., all while mom and dad are off being corporate slaves.

Most parents know, deep down, that they are not getting enough time with their kids. I don’t know how many broken hearted mother’s I have seen as they leave their six-week old babies in child care after their maternity leave is over. They know deep down it is wrong, and they have to convince themselves that what they are doing is really what’s best for their little one. But once again who are you going to trust, your gut (ie. the spirit), or a bunch of studies by feminists.

Even after all the kids have entered indoctrination camp school, mothers (and fathers) still need to be present, especially after school when kids get into the most trouble. It’s amazing to see that parents are so shocked that their kids don’t believe in the church anymore. Asking a few questions, and you will find out that the kids had unfiltered and unlimited internet access where he or she has been looking at porn, reading anti-mormon web sites, and chatting with ex-mormons.

I know that being an involved parent doesn’t guarantee that your kids will stay true to the church, but letting your kids watch porn and read anti-mormon literature is pretty much a guarantee that your kid will not stay true. An involved parent would know what their kids are doing online, and then can help kids find balanced information about the church, help their kids navigate the web without becoming addicted to porn, and help their kids find the truth.

Too many mothers make themselves so busy with other tasks that they checkout from their kids. Being a mom is hard work, and letting your kid do whatever he or she wants is a lot easier to do. When mothers put most of their effort into corporate enslavement, they have little left to give their kids.

So stay-at-home moms, keep up the hard work. Fathers, make sure your kids have a parent at home. And working moms that read this are probably coming up with a bunch of rationalizations or studies to refute what I just said. But deep down, you know your not giving your kids everything they deserve, and you feel guilty for it (as you should). Most will probably use their guilt as motivation to attack me, or rationalize their choices. But when your kids go off the deep end, you will always wonder, “Did I fulfill my God given duty to care for and nurture my kids?”

When young men go about to pick a wife, they need to know that their kids will have a mother who will put her kids as a priority, not her career. Young women who do not learn to cook, sew, and take care of little ones will not make good wives. Avoid them at all costs. Do you really want a wife that is too busy for her kids? If she is too busy for her kids, she will be way too busy for you. Imagine laying down every night next to this career driven women, dreaming about her smoking hot bod, but never being able to touch it, cause she’s too tired and stressed. Talk about a life of torture. If you don’t believe me, just look at all of the marriage forums (LDS and not) that are filled with frustrated chumps who never get to touch their wives.


The Sin of Pedestalizing Women

I mentioned in my previous post, Living Worthy of the Boy You Will Someday Marry, that many fathers pedestalize their daughters, just for the fact that they are girls. Pedestalizing women is nothing more than creating false idols, which is obviously sinful.

Pedestalizing is damaging to both men and women. For example, “conservative christians” do not believe that women sin when they seek out abortions. So, somehow it is not okay to kill one of God’s children, but if you have a vagina, you can certainly hire someone else to kill one of God’s children. Just as David sent Bathsheba’s husband off to get slaughtered to hide his sexual sins, women send their innocent kids off to the slaughter to hide their sexual sins. Today we are to believe that just because a person has a vagina, that they can murder, but David, who has a penis, has been sent to outer darkness for doing the same thing.

The manosphere has a lot of articles about pedestalization, so I wanted to talk about it more in the context of how Mormon culture pedestalizes women, and how to not do it.

First, let’s get to the root at why men pedestalize women in the first place. Men are visual creatures, and when they see a women that is somewhat attractive, their brain releases a few chemicals (dopamine and adrenaline) that are designed to cause that man to try and mate with her. Because men have been brainwashed with blue pill principles since birth, they believe that being nice to her will increase their chances of successfully mating. Thus, they seek to pedestalize women.

Unfortunately, the hind brain or instinctual part of the brain does not differentiate whether or not mating with a women would be a good idea. The frontal lobe decides that. Therefore, when a man sees a cute girl he gets a shot of some feel good chemicals. For most men, their frontal lobe (the thinking part of the brain) kicks in and says, “Your married idiot!” and the man quickly adjusts his plans. However, he seldom adjusts his “be nice cause she’s hot” attitude.

Even girls as young as babies can cause these chemicals to get released. Having a few cute daughters, I have had several men creep me out. Seeing a grown man come up to of one of my baby daughters (10 months old) and start trying to get her attention is really weird, especially since these same man never sought for the attention of my baby sons. Even though these men are married with daughters of their own, they can’t resist a pretty little girl. Most men’s frontal lobes will quickly dismiss the thought of mating with a little girl, but that doesn’t mean the instinctual part of their brain hasn’t release any feel good chemicals. Thus, men will still try to seek out positive attention from whatever female released those chemicals.

Once the chemicals get released, men will start to act differently towards these girls. And, since girls have been getting this special treatment from men since birth, they quickly learn how to use it as a tool to get what they want. Add on the fact that in the last 30-40 years, all men have been conditioned to be good beta boys, and you get full fledge pedestalization of women. Good beta boys think that being nice to a cute girl will get them a chance to mate with her, when in reality it destroys their chances.

One thing that happens in church talks, is that men praise their wives, ie. the “she’s my better half,” or “I couldn’t have accomplished what I did without her.” When general authorities say this, I actually think they are telling the truth and that it is praise that the women well deserves. The women they married 40+ years ago were feminine in nature and supported the husband. She probably was a stay-at-home mom, who cooked and cleaned. They were also raised by a father that taught them not to gossip,to dress modestly, and how to repent and become a better person. Since most general authorities are men who have led successful lives, it goes to say that they probably made a good choice when they married as well.

However, this has a trickle down effect that causes men who didn’t marry good wives or mothers to praise them, just because they are a woman. I have seen men praise their selfish, gossiping, wife who spends all of her time on Facebook instead of taking care of the kids, hardly cooks dinner or cleans, constantly nags the husband to do stuff for her, etc. Then he gets up in testimony meeting, and pedestalizes his “glorious” wife, probably because she let him have sex with her 2 times a year in the past year.

Worse yet, pedestalization causes fathers to let their daughter get away with stuff, like dress immodestly, get unlimited access to indoctrination devices phones and social media,  etc. I have even noticed, that most girls at college have beta orbiters that do their homework for them tutor them. Every time I see a guy doing a girls homework tutoring a girl I just want yell at him “She’s not going to have sex with you, kiss you, date you, etc. She thinks you are a nerd, but knows that because she is pretty you will do just about anything for her.”

So, men need a plan to not pedestalize women. First of all, men need to realize that women will not reward your nice behavior with sex. In fact, being overly nice kills any attraction she might have had for you. It is a display of low value, if you are always bending over backwards for a women. From her point of view, you look desperate.

Secondly, you cannot avoid the chemicals that girls release in your brain whenever you see them, but you can use them to your advantage. When you see a pretty girl, enjoy the free chemical rush she gives you, then recognize what your brain is doing. Use the chemical rush to remind you what the best course of action should be. Remember, being nice works against you.

Women will never respect a man who can’t control the hormones inside his brain. Cute girls know they have power to control men’s brain with their looks, which is one reason why they dress immodestly. Dressing immodestly increases their chances of getting what they want. Just imagine what a really hot girl will think when her “special power” has no effect on you.

Hopefully, this will help you to stand up to your wife’s unreasonable requests, allow you to call women to repentance when they need it, and not let vaginas rule your life.

One last note of caution, don’t be unreasonably rude to girls just because they released some chemicals in your brain. Being mean is acting different, which still shows you are affected by her beauty. The goal should be to act indifferent, meaning your not going to give them special attention, either good or bad.


Living Worthy of the Boy You Will Someday Marry

One of the biggest benefits of raising kids is being able to enjoy your posterity. “Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your children,” the saying goes. Having a righteous posterity is mentioned in the scriptures several times, as well as in conference talks. It is a fundamental in Mormon doctrine.

So, raising young men to be righteous fathers is an important theme in the church. Pres. Hinckley’s talk, “Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry” does a good job instructing young men to become good husbands and fathers. I was looking for a similar talk for girls, and had a hard time finding one. So, I decided to write my thoughts about raising our young women to be righteous wives and mothers.

First, I see far too many parents in the church pushing their daughters into getting a good career. Unfortunately, career girls make really bad wives and mothers, if they can ever slow down enough to actually find time to get married in the first place. Most men seek after a career that will help support their family. Most women seek after a career that will help build their ego. Both men and women are guilty of spending too much time developing a career, and often sacrifice their kids’ needs in the process. This is especially damaging to kids who come home from a day at indoctrination camp school, find no parents home and continue to indoctrinate themselves with TV, Facebook, and porn. (FYI, most kids start their porn addiction when they come home to an empty house, while mom and dad are away working.)

I know, feminists will tell you about all of the studies (done by feminists) that prove that kids are better off without parents home. However, who are you going to listen to? Simple logic and your gut (ie. the spirit) telling you that you should be with your kids, or a bunch of feminists who tell you to leave them to be indoctrinated?

Not only are career girls bad mothers, but they also elevate their ego by thinking that their education makes them more attractive to men. It doesn’t. Since a woman will only marry up, the more she elevates her ego, the fewer men she will consider as potential mates. Pushing your daughters career is a good way to make sure you hear about how “there are no good men left” throughout all of your daughter’s fertile years.

Second, far too many parents let their daughters live a life of gluttony. I know you need some tact here because you don’t want your daughter to have an eating disorder, but letting your daughter get fat is bad news for her marriage prospects. Eating disorders are probably caused by all of the indoctrination devices you freely let your daughter use. I doubt that parents telling their kids to eat healthy and get exercise will give a girl an eating disorder. Setting a good example is key here. If you or your wife is fat, telling your daughter to be skinny while you pork out and be lazy is not going to go over well.

Set a good example, and make your daughters (and sons) get plenty of exercise and provide healthy meals for your kids. Limit junk food. I know it is hard to do if mommy is too busy building up her ego in a cubicle somewhere pretending to be important, instead of shopping for healthy ingredients and cooking healthy meals. (Let’s see feminist do a study on what kids eat while both parents are working.)

Third, they allow their daughters unlimited use of their indoctrination devices phones and social media. This can be hard, and I am yet to fight this battle with one of my daughters. But you are their parent, and you DO have the right to control what they do online (at least until they turn 18). At very least put time limits on their phone and social media, and make sure you find a way to see every text and social media post. If you don’t, don’t be surprised to find out your “precious sweet innocent daughter” passes nude photos of herself to the school alpha bad boy.

Fourth, parents fail to teach their daughters about how their sex drive works, and how to control it. Men are constantly instructed on how to control their sex drives. It’s hard to blame men for this, because they don’t even know what makes their wife hot. But you have to tell your daughter that she will have no problem controlling her urges for the nice beta boys. However, the alpha bad boys will get her going really fast. Hopefully, you can help your daughter realize what her biology is programmed to do, so she can learn how to control it.

Fifth, by failing to teach about the potential sex has in creating lasting happiness in a marriage and only teaching that sex is bad, they essentially put a chastity belt on their daughter. Unfortunately, her new husband won’t have the key, but the alpha bad boy will. Parents need to teach the full truth about sex and attraction.

Sixth, parents let their daughter, and sometimes even push their daughter, to treat boys badly. Popular culture demea

Finally, parents (and fathers especially) pedestalize their daughters. Just because your daughter has a vagina doesn’t mean squat. ALL GIRLS HAVE THEM. It isn’t some great accomplishment. Girls are not more “naturally spiritual” than men. Yes, there are differences in men and women, both genders have their faults. Failing to call your daughter to repentance just because she was born female is a horrible sin that does neither of you any good.

If your “little princess” is wrapped around your finger so much that “she can do no wrong,” then how can you possible parent her? Pedestalizing your wife is a good way to kill her attraction for you. Pedestalizing your daughter is even worse. It lets your wife know that you are such a wuss, that she will avoid even a remote chance of actually producing more offspring with you.

Problems in the LDS Marriage Bed

One of the main motivators for me to write this blog is that I have seen a lot of comments online from LDS men who are frustrated with the amount and quality of their married sex life. It is hard to see the amount of pain and discomfort this causes them. Not only that,  I have seen the happiness that a fulfilling sexual relationship can bring to a couple. I find it really unfortunate that many couples never achieve that happiness, and that sex becomes a source of stress and pain in a marriage.

So, what should a man do if his wife doesn’t want to have sex with him, or if the quality of sex he has with his wife isn’t that great. (Judging from LDS message board, there are probably a lot of men just like you, so you don’t have to feel alone.) Unfortunately, if you married a girl that isn’t attracted to you, there might not be a solution. However, I do think most LDS couples that marry, were attracted to each other at the beginning of their relationship. So, if that is the case, then there is hope for you.

So now is the time to get blunt with you (and this is written for men). Imagine getting excited about having sex with the most unattractive girl you have ever seen. I am talking about a mean, nasty, fat girl with short hair and unshaven legs and armpits. Would you be excited about having sex with her? Probably not.

That is probably why your wife doesn’t want to have sex with you. She isn’t attracted to you physically. Women have a biological filter that screens every potential mate to make sure his genes will produce good offspring. Men have a filter too, but because sperm is cheep, you can afford to mate with less than perfect women. The best available women at the time will usually work. Since a women is stuck for at least 9 months (but more like 20 years), her filter needs to be really strong. If you can’t get past her filter, sex is either a no go, or sex will be boring with your wife wishing it would get over as soon as possible. Also, just because you past her filter in the past doesn’t mean you will pass it now. You are always being re-evaluated.

So, in short, you need to make yourself more attractive to her. Just google Athol Kay (only if you are married and don’t have a porn problem), and get the advice you need. Yes, it means working out, getting in shape, and becoming a better man. You need to become the head of the house, take care of the finances, and wear the pants. Yes, you will need to stand up to your wife, and tell her no when she makes unreasonable requests. It will take time (a year or two), but you can change and become a man who will routinely pass her filter.

Athol Kay is a much better expert at making yourself attractive than I am or ever could be. Plus, I only know my wife, so I am not pretending to be some great sex expert. So, you will have to get most of your advice from him (or other sources).

Every time I read an online forum post where the man complains about his lack of sex life, I never see good responses. Some responses actually make the situation worse. “Just do more dishes and she will suddenly be so turned on,” is almost a sure way to suck any last remaining attraction she had for you out. I just want to yell, “YOUR WIFE DOESN’T THINK YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE.” Becoming attractive will solve a lot of the problems.

However, in LDS marriages there are some differences in how you go about your approach. Not only do LDS girls have the same filter all women do, they also have probably have “good girl syndrome.” So, while you work on building your attractiveness, you need to work on breaking down her good girl syndrome. I can recommend two books that can help.

  1. The 5 Love Languages. This is for both of you. While you may feel like your lack of sex is the main problem, your main frustration is that you don’t feel loved. Sex (and good quality sex), go a long ways in helping a man feel loved. By helping your wife realize that sex is a tool build love, hopefully the “sex is bad” programming she received growing up in the church and will be replaced with a “sex is good” mindset. This is a good book to start with because it isn’t about sex. It is about having a better relationship and building love. Some LDS women will automatically shut down whenever sex is brought up. This is a good way to introduce the topic in a positive way. If your wife won’t read a book about building a better relationship than, I hate to say it, you really married a horrible person.
  2. The next book is And They were not Ashamed. This will really get into good girl syndrome, and help your wife clear up any reservations she might have with sex.

However, you really need to time the book right and take it with the right approach. If you bring the 5 Love Languages book to your wife with a sad, beaten down face begging for sex, you will dry out your wife’s nether regions pretty darn fast.  You need to build attraction first. Get in shape first, build attraction in your wife, and then present the book. Patience is key. If you can figure out a way to make it your wife’s idea, even better.

This might be a good approach, but you will have to adjust it to your personality and situation. After you have built up some attraction in your wife, play a little “neg game.” Talk about how you have been married for X number of years, and how you have always heard people’s love grows. Then very aloofly mention that your surprised because there seems to be a little bit of a distance between you. You want to make it seem like it is just an observation, not something that bothers you or that you have even thought of before. Mention that maybe it is life stressors that is causing it. Then leave (make sure your wife knows that you were planning on leaving before the conversation) and go do something manly. If done right, your wife’s subconscious is thinking,  “he’s different and pretty attractive, but wait, he said their is some distance between us. What’s going on? Is he not happy.  What did I do?” If you have been making changes in your life, your wife probably has noticed and is already a little confused. This little conversation is going to really throw your wife through a loop. And guess what, you won’t be there to calm her down or reassure her that she is “your special snowflake”. It will dwell with her and bug her until she can talk to you again. The longer she has to wait the better (maybe even over night). When she brings it up again, act aloof, and then mention the book as a way to help bring you closer. She has probably heard of it before, and you might have already read it together. If so, you can still read or review it.

Keep your frame while reading the book. Stay aloof, and try to make her be the main driver in reading the book. Then mention that maybe the distance between you is caused by a your lack of a sex life, but don’t be all pouty about it. Just say it matter of factly. (Right after you say it is a good time to leave again and do something manly.) That will lead her to wanting to improve that part of the relationship. Which will hopefully lead to the next book. Remember to keep your improvement plan in place throughout the process and maintain your frame.

Now for some advice to help you get started with your plan. When you get home, corner your wife and kiss her. Try to make the kiss last at least 10 seconds. If she pulls away before 10 seconds say, “What, you don’t have 10 seconds for a proper kiss?” with a goofy smile on your face.  Kiss her again, at the end give her butt a good pinch followed by a good smack. Then go somewhere else, and go about your business.

How I got married

I wasn’t a player in high school or college, and actually quite beta, so of course I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends. I did have a lot of friends that were girls, but of course I was the perfect guy for someone else.

So how did I end up getting married to a wonderful women? Here is the story of my relationships. I won’t be too detailed because I don’t want to identify anyone.

In high school, I asked a girl I thought was my friend to homecoming. I soon found out that she wasn’t a friend. Although she did go with me, she ditched me once we got there. I spent the next 3-4 months of my senior year in a confused daze. Why would a girl be so cruel to me. Girl can be cruel to unattractive guys, lesson learned. I don’t know why it took me 4 months to figure it out. She isn’t a member, and a quick check on Facebook showed me I really wasted my time with her. So maybe she wasn’t being too cruel after all.

I just dated for fun before my mission, so no serious relationships. However, in the process, I did learn two things. 1) Even LDS girls can be cruel to unattractive guys. Luckily, I was smart enough to only waste a few weeks on her. I also learned that asking a girl on a date who has a beta obiter will really piss off that guy. Luckily, he just blamed himself and apologized for being upset about it and told me to have fun. Lesson learned, don’t be a beta orbiter, or you will see your sweet special someone dating someone else.

After my mission, it was time to get serious and find me a wife. I ended up dating one of the first girls I asked out after my mission. Of course, I gave up all of my passions as I fell head over heals “in love.” She soon realized I wasn’t the attractive guy she thought I was and ended it, kind of. She kinda wanted to hang out with me, so she wouldn’t be bored on the weekends while she looked for someone better. She usually said it like, “I still like you, but I am not ready for a relationship.” Of course, I was stupid and wasted a good 6+ months hoping she would become ready. I was now her beta orbiter. Luckily the year came to an end, and I came to my senses and moved on. Lesson learned, girls want beta orbiters and will try to draw you in. Don’t fall for it. She either wants you, or doesn’t. If she won’t fully commit, look elsewhere.

I didn’t have another relationship for quite a while after her. I went on dates, and hung out, and learned a lot. Mostly, that there were about 3-4 guys all the girls liked, and I wasn’t one of them. My roommate was, and I learned a lot from him.

I finally started dating the perfect career girl. If the girl couldn’t fill her time with all of her homework, she actively sought for other activities to put on her graduate school applications. What a gal, she was going to save the world. Only problem is, she didn’t have much time for me. I got maybe 1-2 hours a week to be with her, and hear about her “saving the world” aspirations. Lesson learned, career gals are horrible girlfriends, and probably horrible wives and mothers too. They want to impress everyone else beside their husbands and kids.

Anyway, I was really smart with her. She had that talk, where said she wasn’t ready for the relationship. I said okay, and never spoke with her again. I think she was shocked. I didn’t stick around like her other orbiters have done. The only thing I could have done better would have been to dump her. Even though I still kinda liked her when the talk happened, I knew that giving in to be her friend was going to do two things. 1) Waste my time and effort on someone who wouldn’t reciprocate. 2) Kill any chance I had on other girls in the ward. I knew it was the right choice when my very nosy roommate reported to me that her roommates thought I was being a jerk for not talking to her (or them) anymore.

I then started holding hands with a girl, and thought we were dating, until she told me that she wanted to date other people. Luckily, I quickly realized I was plan B while she looked for something better. I put an end to it pretty quickly. If a girl won’t commit, she isn’t worth it. She later wanted to date me, but I was taken. Last I heard, she is still looking for Mr. Perfect.

I had some roommates that got me into lifting weights, but I always did it pretty casually. Once I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree, I had some more free time, and started taking it really seriously. I would go for an hour a day, 5 days a week. I have a pretty skinny frame, but suddenly I started putting on muscle. I went from below average BMI to a healthy BMI by putting on 30 pounds of muscle. Unfortunately, the girls in my current ward didn’t really notice the change much.

So, I moved to a new ward, and started dating a girl from my old ward. Now that girls only knew the bigger, stronger me, and the fact that I was taken, dramatically increased my stock in the new ward. It wasn’t long until I met my wife in the new ward. I dropped the girl from my old ward, as my future wife chased after me more than any other girl in my life. (I couldn’t have been the muscles right? Girls aren’t like that, except my wife always says she likes my strong arms.)

Not too much later, we were married. I didn’t know any game, and really lucked into a great marriage. I got a wonderful girl, who’s a great mother, and she can’t keep her hands off of me, especially now that I know how to “game” her. After stumbling upon some LDS Marriage boards, I feel really lucky, since most guys don’t seem to get much lovin’ from their wives, or respect for that matter.

I read those forum, and hear all of the crappy advice men are getting when they have a “sex-less” marriage. I see my LDS friends work hard all day, just to come home and cook and clean for the precious wives. They never get to work on their hobbies, have the big spare tire around their waste, and have the look. You know, the look of a man who has lost all hope. Hopefully this blog can give those men a new chance at life.