Don’t get me wrong, I am completely opposed to porn. However, I articles like “SEX BEFORE KISSING: HOW 15-YEAR-OLD GIRLS ARE DEALING WITH PORN-ADDICTED BOYS” don’t do very well at stopping the problem. There are two main problems with this article: 1) It fails to mention that most of these girls are watching and enjoying porn themselves and blames men for girls making poor choices. 2) Instead of actually helping people overcome porn addictions, it just shames them and tells them that they are violent, self-centered monsters ruining women’s lives because they look at porn. Notice that a lot of these articles fail to mention how porn might ruin a man’s life? (I know that some do, and fightthenewdrug.org does highlight stories about men ruining their life.)
The article starts by stating statistics that teen boys are more responsible for rapes than other groups suggesting that it is because they look at porn. I don’t doubt the statistics, because teen boys have a combination of a lot of testosterone and a less than fully developed brain, so it is easy for porn to led to a small percentage of them into rape. However, most normal young men will not become rapists because they watch porn. And again I am against porn and agree that it does lead some people to commit crimes. I just believe that the small percentage of people who do become rapist, also have other issues that need to be addressed. For the average young man, watching porn will not lead to him becoming a rapist, especially if he is able to get the appropriate help he needs to overcome his addiction.
The article mentions that girls feel like they need to send nude photos of themselves to boys, and compete for their attention. It also mentions that girls feel like they need to have sex first before they can kiss. What isn’t mentioned is why these girls make these poor choices in the first place. The girls are making these choices because they want cheap sexual attention and validation of their worth.
When a girl complies with a request for a nude photo, she isn’t being forced to do it. She does it because she is flattered that a “hot guy” wanted to see her boobs. She feels validation that she is pretty, and then complies with the request hoping that it will bring more cheap sexual attention and possible up her status amongst her girl friends. When girls invite boys over to watch a movie, and then comply to having horrible sex first, they are choosing to be with that guy because he brings her cheap sexual attention. No one forced this girl to date this kind of guy.
What this article fails to mention is that there are plenty of good guys willing to develop a loving relationship with these girls without receiving nudes and sex first. It’s just that these guys don’t fulfill the girls “need” for cheap sexual attention and elevated status among her girl friends. Only the “hot guys” can do that. These girls choose guys that expect nudes and sex before a relationship begins, and they choose them because they are their best option for receiving cheap sexual attention.
Just imagine what would happen if all girls stopped sending nudes of themselves to these boys. Imagine what it would be like if the girls never sent nudes in the first place. The boys would not expect to get them. Boys expect it now because the girls keep giving it. They keep giving it because they watch porn too, and fantasize about being some guy’s dream girl.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying boys are not in the wrong. I am just saying that girls are just as much in the wrong for seeking cheap sexual attention as boys are for seeking cheap sexual gratification. We do girls a big disservice to not point out that they can choose a better way of getting their validation than by choosing to slut themselves. Both of these problems, boys seeking cheap sexual gratification and girls seeking cheap sexual attention, stem from the same problem.
Kids these days do not know how to deal with their emotions. If you watch a lot of parents with kids in the store, you will see their young kids playing with their parents phones. Before our great technological age, when kids were hurt, bored, lonely, sad, etc., they had to find a way to deal with it. That usually meant going to a parent to learn how to deal with these feelings. Now days, it means that kids will get a cheap shot of dopamine to numb their feelings from their parent’s phone. As they grow older, they get their own devices to drug themselves up with. It’s only a matter of time before they discover porn, which produces far more brain numbing chemicals than they have ever experienced before. Girls might not get as addicted to it as boys (although some do, and others get more addicted to erotic literature). Once they become teenagers, the best way boys know how to deal with their feelings is seeking out cheap sexual gratifications. Girls too figure out that cheap sexual attention goes a long way in numbing their feelings.
(This is just a draft that I am not finished with. I don’t have time to blog, but I had this written up and decided it was worth posting. Sorry if it contains gramatical errors and “logical fallacies”. I just have time to put my thoughts down and publish it in the hopes it can help people.)